nncy1105

Hi everyone, Thank you everyone for contributing and please continue to do so if you have any new insights. Also, new people who haven't chimed in, please do so. Hopefully, I can hear from someone with personal experience of transferring in a PhD program, too. I am not necessarily making any decision at this time. My guy had also suggested I go to my grad school, get into the roll of things and then decide. I agreed with him as well as others who made the suggestion to try it out for a year or so. Although, I would say we are not in the euphoria of a new stage, I wouldn't deny that we may have some similarities to one. See, we were together in 2001 to ~2006 with several breakups mainly due to my being away alot (5mths in Japan, 3 times of ~3-5mths in Houston). He has always and continues to be supportive of my academic pursuit. But following our final breakup and up until ~4 months ago when we started hanging out again, we were quite distant, mostly because of me so it is only natural that an opportunity to fall in love with another could arise in 3 years when we were not together or even close. And he would gladly move, if his mom was healthy and capable of being on her own, and I think of this as an admirable quality. So in essence, whether we will have a future will depend on my decision and a bit of fate. I can't ask him to wait for me for "another" 5 years essentially - it is too much and I don't want to do that to someone I love. I would say my undergrad is only a few schools below my grad school in terms of ranking so assuming they accept me, I would think it is not too much of a matter. However, if they don't accept me and another school in my hometown does, they are about 20 schools or so lower in ranking. My field is in the biological science research field and besides ranking for the name sake, there is a difference in the expertise and technology available at schools depending on the ranking so I am a bit concerned there if I didn't get back into my undergrad and got into the other school. But even so, I'm willing to do so, if I feel it is worth the risk. I have to believe my guy and I will work out if I move back, but also that if we don't I will still be happy. See, I am not inclined to pursue academia as a professor or such. I want to work in government or industry. I wouldn't mind working academia, but I don't think I would want my own lab even if so. So in a way, the ranking of the school for name sake, is less relevant. And I realized that I value more than my career in looking at the long run of what is called life. And I would say, I don't want to spend my future with anyone else but this guy. However, I feel I can get education and get a job anywhere even if it's not the most ideal, but maybe it is/will be. My plan after all my thoughts and all inputs: Go to grad school and in about 2 months or more, if I still feel so inclined to, I will apply. If not, we'll see what happens. But if I do apply, my dilemma is how to handle it in terms of what to say to my grad school and whatever other logistics. Thus, I would like to hear some personal experience(s). Once again, thank you everyone. It means a lot that so many have already chimed in. It makes it feel less lonely in handling my 100+ thoughts and worries.

Hi, I have a somewhat delicate issue: Going to a very good PhD program this Fall, but contemplating on applying to my undergrad school/hometown schools for next year because of a personal reason (read below if interested). PhD program is ranked slightly higher than my undergrad school and I didn't apply to my undergrad because of the advice to explore outside it. Does anyone have personal experience or know anyone with experience on how to handle applying to another school while the current school is funding and training you? If I choose to do so, I want to do it with respect to all involved parties and that is why I would like some personal advice. Thanks! Personal reason synopsis: It's for a guy (I know, ppl are shaking heads, but don't - it's worth it to me). He is one that I've known for 8 years and was together for 5 years. In my early years I traveled and did a ton of stuff. He sat back being patient and let me do it. I was not always there for him, but he still supported me. Broke up several times because I wanted him to have a girlfriend that can be there physically and more daily for him, but each time he still wanted to try to overcome the long distance. We broke up a final time and from that time until now, he has dated but never had a girlfriend. BUT he almost fell in love with someone else. Through our hanging out these past 3-4 months, we realized we still love each other. And I realized I can't bear that he falls in love with someone else and that maybe for once, I should put us first. And getting a PhD at a prestigious university cannot compensate for the fact that I may lose him, lose us, while being away for 5-6 years. So on top of that, I had originally intended to apply to my hometown schools (good schools/family & friends all here) and hadn't because of persuasion to explore. So now I am willing to endure a less pleasant transfer scenario and the application process again because I think our love is worth the fight/sacrifice. Only I would like to approach it with the utmost respect to my PhD institution and cause less/no trouble for my hometown schools or myself. And that is it so please help if you can.

Hi, I have a somewhat delicate issue: Going to a very good PhD program this Fall, but contemplating on applying to my undergrad school/hometown schools for next year because of a personal reason (read below if interested). PhD program is ranked slightly higher than my undergrad school and I didn't apply to my undergrad because of the advice to explore outside it. Does anyone have personal experience or know anyone with experience on how to handle applying to another school while the current school is funding and training you? If I choose to do so, I want to do it with respect to all involved parties and that is why I would like some personal advice. Thanks! Personal reason synopsis: It's for a guy (I know, ppl are shaking heads, but don't - it's worth it to me). He is one that I've known for 8 years and was together for 5 years. In my early years I traveled and did a ton of stuff. He sat back being patient and let me do it. I was not always there for him, but he still supported me. Broke up several times because I wanted him to have a girlfriend that can be there physically and more daily for him, but each time he still wanted to try to overcome the long distance. We broke up a final time and from that time until now, he has dated but never had a girlfriend. BUT he almost fell in love with someone else. Through our hanging out these past 3-4 months, we realized we still love each other. And I realized I can't bear that he falls in love with someone else and that maybe for once, I should put us first. And getting a PhD at a prestigious university cannot compensate for the fact that I may lose him, lose us, while being away for 5-6 years. So on top of that, I had originally intended to apply to my hometown schools (good schools/family & friends all here) and hadn't because of persuasion to explore. So now I am willing to endure a less pleasant transfer scenario and the application process again because I think our love is worth the fight/sacrifice. Only I would like to approach it with the utmost respect to my PhD institution and cause less/no trouble for my hometown schools or myself. And that is it so please help if you can.