Psyduck

Ever Thought about committing yourself to a psychiatric hospital? It would do you some good, and perhaps after that you could re-evaluate things and then move forward with philosophy.

....so anyone have any idea hoping methods?

I think I'll also simultaneously apply to study in China again as a secondary route. They give everybody scholarships.

...you can say you're going to study Chinese and just secretly ...don't. The programs in Beijing are horrible -- nobody would even notice.. !!

Plus I have my qeoo/month pension, I'd be practically .. middle class.

I'm already checking email constantly (though mostly just to make sure nobody is emailing me about incomplete admission) and I just want to sleep until febuary/march. So how do you guys plan to keep yourself calm and not stressed until then?
 
I work full time (I'm not currently in school, took a year off because i couldn't afford to apply while in school) so besides that I plan on reading a lot of science fiction, playing video games, and forcing myself to be away from electronic devices connected to the internet as much as possible. Also I'll probably read some philosophy books or two, but not too much. Doing philosophy makes me think about grad admissions, and that I probably won't get in anywhere, and that makes me depressed, which makes me not be able to do philosophy.
Also I'm probably gonna drink too much. Gotta be honest with you guys about that...

I have a lot of distractions that I didn't have to create artificially.  I got into karaoke recently, for some reason, and have all these karaoke outings set up with my boyfriend and with groups of friends.  I'm also going to L.A. for a week in January (coming up very soon).  I'm a teacher and have the spring semester to prepare for.  I also have a reading group that I run, and so I have many meetings between now and mid-February that are going to be fun/interesting.  A lot's going on, and yet I still think....AM I GOING TO GET INTO A PHD PROGRAM OR NOT???  I NEED TO KNOW.
 
I kinda feel like I will not get into one.  But I'm too lazy to start making preparations for alternatives.  It's partly that I'm not terribly dissatisfied with my life.  I'm in a happy relationship, I have good friends and family, I'm in a profession I enjoy and have no plans to leave and in which I make money (it's not great money but it's enough) -- teaching.  Not getting into a Ph.D. program wouldn't kill me.  The biggest thing I'm counting on a Ph.D. program for (outside of the experience and the program itself)  is the chance to move (and to have a financial base with which to do it).  I know I could try to find a job in cities of my choice, too, but that's easier said than done.  I'll probably try harder once I know for sure I am not accepted to a program.  I was looking the other day, and many of the jobs and opportunities I want to apply for require letters of recommendation.  I don't want to start asking for those damn things all over again until I know for sure what the deal is with the Ph.D. thing.  

Some of last year's entries were pretty funny.  I recall a Hogwarts acceptance. 

Yes very good point, I've thought the same thing. I think that when we become the decision makers instead of the applicants, we ought to change this. I have no doubt that there are reasons why this is the case, but I also have no doubt that no reason, however valid, could justify the outrageous expenditures by applicants that spend hundreds to send their GRE scores when a simple self report system would work just as well. Of course, I blame capitalism (it happens because ETS can get away with it because we have no power). But if I am ever a professor at a PhD program, I will do everything in my power to get this fixed.