I just want to say thank you everyone for your time to write back and really for a lot of the encouraging words. It feels good to read this to myself. Ok so to answer some questions...
What led me to pursue social work? I did my undergrad in psychology, always enjoyed working with people and always wanted to help people. I also always wanted to work with children, foster care type of setting, but unfortunately that is a "dream" of mine I will never be able to do. Much more to this story but it can be linked with how my anxiety started and the reasons why I'm afraid to go and do other things since I know it won't be a field involving children. Hope all that makes sense.
I do think I have skills for it, I'm an amazing listener, I always want to help. However I'm not sure I'm a good communicator. Again could be the anxiety, I just hate to talk and don't feel comfortable talking. So that's my weakness I think :/ and that's the part that scares me. I can be all ears but not sure I'll be as good replying back.
I am currently working on the anxiety. I have seen therapists and currently trying to find a good fit for me. I also am taking Xanax which sort of helps but I'm not one to turn to medicine so really don't want to depend on that.
Honestly no one really knows about my anxiety, maybe one friend. The nationality I am and where I come from I don't think people or my family take it as a serious thing and it sucks because it is serious and it's really ruining a lot of things for me.
I guess from seeing three different therapists I feel like they always talk to me and know what to say and I always question myself if I will be able to be like that. I know that with experience it will get better but I'm not there yet and the beginning is doing an internship which I'm looking to start in fall and I'm just freaking out about it and have days where I want to quit. I'm such a mess I know!