As the title implies, I'm having a dilemma currently.
I've been with my girlfriend for about three and a half years now and I'm extremely happy with where our relationship is and I think that she would agree. We spend a significant portion of time together and enjoy each other's company tremendously. I will spare your all from the ooey-gooey, but we could definitely see ourselves in a much more serious situation down the road.
But our graduate admissions have sort of thrown a big question mark into the future. We applied to schools in the same general vicinity with the hopes that we would have one match-up with schools that we really would like to attend; however, this hasn't happened. She was only able to get accepted into one program, and while this was a school that I was also able to gain admission to, it has a significantly lower appeal to me than other schools that I got into (though I should note for her it is a perfect fit and that academically, the school isn't that far behind my other schools).
So now I'm in this bind....do I go with her to this school? Or do I go to the highest appealing school to me?
With that in mind. I completely realize that education stays with you forever and that relationships have the potential to be lost. Additionally, it is possible that I could resent her for giving up a dream school to go with her to a lesser fit of a school, though my thought is that I wouldn't and even if we broke up I wouldn't regret it that much that I had given up my other choices. I've also sought advice from graduate students at my own institution and they suggested pursuing a LDR and that if it didn't work out that way then the relationship was probably going to end anyway (input on this view would be appreciated). The tough thing with this is we are both going for Ph.D. programs so this will be a 5-6 year separation, though the distance is about 2.75 hours flying and ~8 hours driving between the school I would attend if I didn't go with her and the school she intends on attending.
From what I've read around online and have gotten from other graduate students, the consensus seems to be that a LDR is most ideal as it allows one to see if a relationship was going to end anyway or if it is important enough to both people to keep it going and doesn't have one person "sacrificing" to the point where they might resent the other and the relationship dies anyway.
I'm curious as to if people agree with this view or if going with her is a better idea? Also, if a LDR is pursued, should I be expecting stagnation of the relationship and it not maturing any more? And if I should not expect it to level off, but should expect it to keep growing and it doesn't...what then?