ksiezyc

Thanks guys for the great feedback! I do know that I need to give it more time. I'm just concerned about waiting and waiting for things to get better, and then realizing that I've sunk so much time in that I feel obligated to stay, regardless of how unhappy I am. I'm not sure where to draw the line between giving it time and cutting my losses and moving on, which is why I thought I'd apply to other schools and then see how I feel in the spring. Juilletmercredi, I totally see your point about location. I don't think my situation is so much about missing my family as just disliking the new city. I lived in Big City A for most of my adult life, which was about a 5 hour drive from my family. Now I live about a 6 hour (and very expensive) flight away. So it's not that I used to see them much more often, just that they were much more accessible when I wanted/needed to see them. I really loved Big City A, and now find living in Slightly Smaller City B to be a surprising culture shock. I really hate the transportation situation here, I feel very unsafe in many parts of the city (which I never experienced in city A), and the general culture of the city is just not to my liking. I definitely don't want to throw away the great opportunity I have at the school here and if it were a 1-2 year program, I'd be fine just sucking it up, but I also feel strongly that personal life is extremely important to grad school success and I'm not sure I can live here for 5-7 years without succumbing to my own bitterness about this city I'm also feeling a bit stuck on the advisor front, because I'm still in rotations and therefore don't have a permanent advisor. I could talk to my current rotation mentor, but don't want to burn any bridges in case I decide to stay.

Hi everyone! I'd love to get some feedback on my current situation and how to proceed. I'm enrolled in my first year of a science PhD at a great university. On the whole, I like my program (classes suck, but at least they'll be over by this time next year). However, I totally hate the new city I'm living in, and it's making me miserable to the point that I would consider leaving the program. I moved across the country, so all of my family is far away from me now, which has turned out to be much harder than I thought it would be. I'm living in an extremely expensive city on a relatively low budget, and I feel like I just won't be happy here for the next 5-7 years. I'd hate to throw away this year by going to a different school and starting over, but I honestly question whether I'd be happy enough here to stick it out all the way through my PhD. I'm finding it hard to feel motivated about my work when I'm so unhappy with my environment. My plan right now is to apply to 1-2 programs (schools I did not apply to last year and now regret passing over) while I stick it out in my current school and see if things improve. If I'm still really unhappy in the spring and I get into these other programs, then I would seriously consider leaving. I guess my question is whether anyone else has been through this and has any advice. Also, I'm particularly concerned about whether I need to tell my program that I'm applying elsewhere and if there's a chance they might find out if I don't tell them. I don't want to burn any bridges, especially since it's totally possible that by spring I'll be fine with where I am now. I just want to give myself the option of moving back to a place I love that's closer to home if I still really hate my life after my first year. Thanks in advance for any input!