Thanks for responding to my post, Elise. To answer your question, I like certain aspects of social work. I guess my interest in social work is more narrow in focus than the curriculum I am taking. No one in my program has a BSW so we are all required to take courses in different areas of social work like community work, policy, counselling, research methods, etc. I understand why we have to do this. But unfortunately for me, I am only interested in counselling and mental illness and the rest is only mildly interesting to me (enough to sit through a lecture, but that's about it).
If I had a psychology degree I most definitely would have applied to counselling psych programs. That would have really been up my alley. But I was only willing to go to school for 2 more years and this was the best option I was left with. If I stop now, save money and apply again, I'll be going to grad school in my 40s. As it is, I'll be 40 years old when I complete this program. It's time to get on with my career as it will delay other things in my life if I change programs, like having a family.
There are only 2 programs in my country that offer counselling programs that don't require a psychology degree and will accept the BA that I have. Unfortunately both are unfunded. I got into both of them last year. But the job market is more limiting with such degrees. I'd likely be self-employed for at least part of my career and I prefer more job stability than that. In social work there are lots of jobs, some of which I could see myself doing, but I'll probably be selective with the jobs I apply to one day as lots of things in social work aren't interesting to me, but some are.
I guess I'm just trying to find ways to feel more motivated. When deadlines start to get closer, I start to put in some hours so that I can get the work done. Fast approaching deadlines are the only thing that motivates me and I expect if nothing changes I'll be finishing my assignments an hour or two before they're due on account of procrastinating so much. The rest of the time I can't motivate myself to get much work done and I feel stressed and guilty for wasting so much time and leaving so much work to be completed in a short amount of time (often sacrificing my sleep and eating poorly during these times).
I've tried to give myself rewards for putting in study time, but this doesn't work so well for me. Sometimes I put in the work time and get distracted or daydream so the amount of work that gets done doesn't necessarily reflect the amount of time I've put into it.
Part of the problem may be this unusually long and cold winter we're having this year, missing friends and my old job back home, missing my partner and having a bit of a hard time getting used to being a full time student. I've been eating so much lately and put on lots of weight the past few months. I can't wait to get my old lifestyle back of healthy home cooking, daily walks or workouts at the gym, more time for self-care and more time to spend with loved ones. The answer might seem quite obvious - just do those things to feel better about my circumstances. But I've been feeling so unmotivated I don't even want to cook anymore or go to the gym. I miss my old life. Sometimes change is hard. I've got lots of acquaintances and some new friends here, but it's not the same as being surrounded by true blue friends you're close to and could talk to about just about anything.
Anyhow, I know this degree is important to complete for my future and I'm just wondering about some strategies I could use to help myself get out of this rut and make the next 14 months more pleasant or at least more tolerable so that I'll be motivated to work hard. This is a situation of the end justifying the means, but normally I don't live my life this way and perhaps a change in perspective will help keep me going. If anyone has some words of wisdom or insight they'd be willing to share I'd be glad to hear it.