tripathiabhinav

Agreeing with Elizabeth, your ideas are cohesive but your writing needs improvement. And you should put up more points, at least go for 4 points and structure them properly(your structure at present is perfect but inclusion of more point(s) should not disturb it). I'll give you a 3 on this.

Hi Simeon, Before I evaluate you, I would want you to know that my AWA was 3.5. Evaluation: You have done a critical analysis of the argument which is the crux of this task. Your order of argument makes sense as it lists assumptions in the same order as present in the premise. You have attacked three important assumptions which is again good. I'll rate you 3-4 on this (again I am not an expert and an average performer). Some points I would want to make: 1. Your attack on first argument is based on an assumption that standard of living is important for an employee in evaluation of the town, which is a very valid assumption. However, my suggestion would be to include a paragraph prior to this point which justifies your using of 'standard of living' . You might point out that may be its the below-average salary that makes the employees not willing to live in urban areas. and substantiate that yes standard of living matters. Including this will make you have 4 points of attack and present you have 3 points of attack. 2. You have used the word 'veracity' for argument (if proven unwarranted will seriously damage its veracity and validity.) I think veracity is for things to be true or false. An argument cannot be true or false, an argument is in an abstract form which lacks objectivity of true/false. I recommend you work on using of proper words. Validity is the perfect work and it works fine in its entirety so no need to include veracity. 3. While analyzing an argument avoid using 'I' and 'We' . The person reading your argument knows that its your view so no need to emphasize it by using pronouns. ( This point is very debatable and many people say its fine to use personal pronouns but I'll suggest you can discuss this point with some experts in writing around you). 4. My writing is not concise, that is, the amount of words I have used to put my evaluation is too much and below average. There are very few sentences(one or two) of yours which can be shortened. Remember : ' Brevity is the soul of wit'. In nut-shell : Shorten sentences, use the words contextually, be aware of the assumptions you make to attack the author's assumptions and practice practice practice. I might be totally wrong at few places but I think it helps you. Beeersss! Abhinav