This week, the productivity of eager young minds lies entirely in the hands of a select few. NSF, do it for America. Do it for the smell of fresh cut grass on a baseball field, for apple pie, and bald eagles, and Jon Bon freaking Jovi. Release them from the spell of Pokemon, 2048, looking for glitches in HTML source code, cross referencing results, indexing tweets, and taking the joy out of April fool's day. For life, liberty, and the pursuit of never visiting this page ever again.
Roll tide NSF, roll tide.