MorganStar32

OP here, and I say - Derail away! This is an interesting discussion with many tangents, so please don't feel like I'm going to be displeased by a derail. As someone mentioned, I think my original question was answered. This issue of funding/stipends/salary is near to many of our hearts, so please, discuss :-)

Thanks for your response, and all the responses. This is the kind of attitude I feel like I have been encountering. Nearly our entire department attends a week-long national conference every year, and they are always held in the most expensive areas of the most expensive cities in the U.S. They are very expensive to attend once you factor in airfare, hotel, conference registration, and meals (which are not provided by the conference). I applied for a travel award from one of the specialty groups and got it, and also received a small travel stipend from the Grad School. One guy in my department was very vocal about criticizing me, saying I should have left that money for someone who needed it. The truth was, I had to buy expensive equipment for my study off of my Fellowship stipend and didn't have as much for travel funds as he was assuming. I also knew that the specialty group travel award would look good on my CV. But I let him make me feel so bad that the next year I didn't apply for any other funding. When I went to the specialty group meeting they said they only had one applicant for the travel award!! So why am I letting them make me feel bad when they're not applying for these awards anyway?? I suppose it is like any other work place - there will be back-biting and pettiness. It's just too bad, because we should be supporting each other in all our endeavors.

I think you really hit the nail on the head here. I know it has been tough on them. I guess I just resent them assuming that it hasn't been tough on me too. You never know what someone's financial situation truly is unless they choose to discuss it with you. At any rate, like you said, applying for grants is a good thing! They could do the exact same thing I'm doing - apply for external funding. In fact, I have offered to bring them in on grants I am writing. They don't want to do it because they feel they couldn't handle the added responsibility. I understand that - we all have a lot on our plate. But if I CAN handle it, I'm going to write the grant and get the funding!

Thanks everyone for the great responses! First, to answer Sigaba's question - I discussed the side job with my Project Officer and he gave his approval, so that wasn't a problem. As for the salary/stipend offered by our school, it is ridiculously low in my opinion. We are in a low-cost area of the country, but it is still much less than what I would expect most people to live on (roughly $1000/month stipend). My office mates are younger than I am, and most of them are living with multiple roommates and cutting costs down that way. My husband and I are living as frugally as possible, but we like having our own place and our own space. My office mates also still get some financial help from their parents. My parents don't really understand why I'm still in school at my age (early 30's). They come from a very blue collar town and I am definitely the only person from my high school to get a graduate degree, so they don't really see the purpose in it. That's not to say they aren't proud of me, but they don't see why they should still be helping me financially at my age. Not to mention, I really don't want to ask them for money. That puts extra pressure on me to not only pay my bills, but to have extra money to cover emergencies. I am glad that TakeruK mentioned the international student conundrum. My husband is also an international student and unable to work at the moment, so it does become an expense. He is embarrassed by it - he wants to be the breadwinner. So I never mention to my office mates that I am really the one paying most of our expenses. I'm sure they assume that we have two incomes. He does do little odd jobs whenever he can find them to get a few hundred dollars here and there, and that helps. But he is not pulling a regular salary, and until he is I am the one who has to make sure we're covered. I am ok with the arrangement - we discussed it at length before we decided that we would both go for our graduate degrees in America. You're right that I just shouldn't mention grants in front of them anymore, which is exactly what my husband said. When I brought it up I wasn't even thinking of it in terms of funding, I was just excited to be able to do the project that I proposed! I thought we could share in the excitement. But from now on, I will just keep my mouth shut and only discuss my dissertation with them. I realize I am lucky to be so well-funded, but I also worked very hard to get the funding I have and I don't appreciate anyone making me feel like I don't deserve it. As far as the larger question of how much a grad student should be paid: it obviously varies quite a bit from school to school, but I think it is ridiculous to ask students to live below the poverty line. The result of such low stipends is that many students end up taking out loans to cover costs, which leads to graduating with massive debt. As Takeru said, we obviously shouldn't be paid as much as those who have graduated and are working in actual faculty positions, but the disparity is so great in some areas that there must be room for improvement.

I am having an issue with my office mates. We all applied for a prestigious Fellowship, but I am the only one who got it. As a result, I have been making roughly twice their salaries for the last couple years. I also took on a side project that was unpaid at first, but they were so happy with my work they extended it and carved out some salary for me. This doesn't mean I'm rich, by any means. I'm married and have more bills and financial obligations than my office mates. They are still living the single, super-frugal college life. That's great for them, but if my husband and I want to work hard and make a little bit more, why should they have a problem with that? I have been sensing this underlying hostility whenever money comes up. At a recent conference, there were a lot of assumptions about what I would be paying for. I rented a car in my name for everyone to use, and ended up getting stuck with the rental bill AND the gas, even after everyone said they would pitch in. They also made snide comments after I showed up with a new Patagonia backpack - never mind that it was a gift from my mom. Also, it's not like they don't have nice things, so I don't know why I receive extra scrutiny. Next semester, my Fellowship is over and I will be making the same amount as my office mates working as a TA - about half as much as what I have been making. I applied for a grant to do a small research project and get additional funding. It's really not much, but it will help. When I shared the good news that my grant had been forwarded to the next round of review, my office mates became kind of snotty. One of them said "you already have funding, what do you need more for??" Am I being greedy? Or are they just being jealous?