Confused Goose

I could be way off the mark with you two, but I don't think your husband would take you seriously if you try talking to him (contrary to what most people here say). I'm in a similar situation. My girlfriend and I are both in college, and we're both highly competitive. Whenever good things happen to me, I'm ten times as happy when something good happens to her. But when nothing happens to me, well, I think it's only natural to feel defeated. And I may even do other things (like read for fun) to justify why nothing is happening to me. And as this pattern continues, I'd probably sink deeper and deeper.

In his defense (come on, no negs here), I think its easier for you to feel happy for him when something good comes along, because you are in a better position. It's probably very difficult for you to put yourself in his shoes. And I think the more things that work out for you and not for him, it will only make his attitude worse, might even make him less motivated to even try, and will probably make him feel more insecure about himself. I'm sure talking to him will probably sound patronizing and condescending.

I think the best thing for him to do is to find something that motivates him again and that will raise his self esteem. Nobody wants to be the loser, not even you. But as I think was rightly said above, there is nothing wrong from your position, you shouldn't hold back on your hard work and accomplishments. Its really his problem and something only he could/should fix.

There shouldn't be any problem due to funding. The only requirement for an F1 visa is proving funding (your own or scholarships or financial support from the univ) for the 1st academic year. The details, such as an option to switch groups, are not mentioned on the I20.

WOW, its like we are living the same life....
As a waitress in a small town, all of my regulars know about my schooling ups and downs (and most of them know my schedule... I think that gossip must be slow these days)....

most of the time I try to explain what it is I'm doing, but generally they are older (60-80yrs crowd) and I just let them ramble on about how I will be digging in the dirt, or playing with bones, and how so-and-so's grandson wanted to be an anthropologist but then had an epiphany that he wouldn't get anywhere in that field and decided to go to law school....it's a little depressing for me as none of these have anything to do with my sociocultural anth dreams....

I told one of my customers that I was applying to grad school (and where, and how much that might cost, and am I going to leave the restaurant? *gasp*, and what degree I am going for)
Stupidly I replied that I was going for my doctorate
this only elicited a look of confusion, as they exclaimed that "at least you will always have a job as a doctor"
I didn't bother to explain that I wasn't going to med school for my doctorate.....*sigh*

sometimes you just get tired of trying to explain your field and then trying to justify it to others (and yourself simultaneously)

OMG it totally does!

On a more specific note, telling people I plan to study romantic relationships and sexuality usually induces one of four general responses: genuine fascination (followed by detailed sex questions), requests for relationship advice, scoffs, or ridiculously inappropriate jokes.

Though it makes for a helluvah pickup line, not gonna lie.

I always receive the ubiquitous, "so what are the real-world applications?", when I talk about fs TAPPS spectroscopy of nanoparticles. For me, the joy isn't in making a better iPod, but in studying the physics involved. No one, I repeat, no one, outside of academia can understand this.

Certainly, we'll have better solar cells, new cancer treatments, better catalysts for the oxidation of water, superior biological dyes and protein sensors, etc.. but no one understands those either. The joy is in operating bad-ass laser systems. That's it.

I care too. I see my friends agonizing over the wait, and very much wish them get admits already. Same goes for all fellow applicants, even though most are strangers.

I care too. I see my friends agonizing over the wait, and very much wish them get admits already. Same goes for all fellow applicants, even though most are strangers.