Stephαnie

Honestly I think it's just that a lot of people going in for a PhD are thinking too narrowly in terms of their job prospects. Not everyone who gets a PhD will end up tenure-track at a research university. Statistically it's just not possible. It used to be that the supervisor-student relationship was like an apprenticeship, preparing the student for exactly the kind of job the supervisor has. But now the job market is changing (and not necessarily for the worse), so the way you think about the PhD needs to change too. Academia can partner up with the corporate world, government, non-profit, publishing, teaching etc. in all sorts of interesting and dynamic ways. Employers appreciate people who can work independently, who are motivated and smart and bring great ideas to the table. It's reassuring for an employer to look at someone's resume and see that they stayed in one place and worked on a project from start to finish. It shows that the person has a solid work ethic and can be counted upon. At my university there's a recently-launched PhD co-op program that I definitely intend to apply for. In the meantime I also intend to enjoy life as fully as I can, to learn as much as I can while I am young. I know exactly what you mean about all the doom-and-gloom talk. Well guess what, we don't have to become tenure-track academics. It's just one of many, many options out there.

I don't mean actually going to the country, I just mean going to a local restaurant in your own neighborhood (assuming you live in a city) that has a mostly Middle Eastern clientele. There are places like that in any big city in the world, just as there are Indian restaurants, Chinese restaurants, Japanese restaurants, Italian restaurants. This is one I know of in Vancouver: http://afghanhorsemen.com/ But I don't know about the specific city you are in. Diaspora was the first thing that came to my mind, anyway, when I saw "development & evolution" of identity.

Gosh...... I thought graduate students / young adults who are considering a career in academia would be mature, respectful people. Mods please delete or lock this thread.

@aberrant Well, I am on the lookout for a serious relationship but as I really just haven't met anyone that I would like to date, I am also basically just seeking to expand my network. Most people meet potential partners through friends-of-friends, after all. Thank you for clarifying about OKCupid. I'll think about giving it a try again sometime, but it is Sunday afternoon now and I haven't finished the reading I wanted to do. @LittleDarlings Thank you. I feel less... irrelevant now, haha.

@abberant -- I looked at the Wired link you posted and I am not sure if you are playing a joke on me or not. You can't be literally suggesting that I do what that person did. I was sincere when I wrote my opening post. The criteria are stringent because as a woman I do not have a lot of time to waste. Men can wait until they're 35 to look for love, but women just don't have that many years where they are fertile. So I have thought very carefully about what I want, and this was just an attempt to get the message out there. I am sorry if my post somehow annoyed or offended you in any way.

Hi, it seems like your interests are all over the place, but if you're interested in going this route: I would suggest literature or cultural studies, basically a field that seeks to describe what's there. That would open up more options for you professionally. You also don't necessarily have to travel to any country you don't want to go to. Muslims travel just like anyone else, and there are diasporic communities everywhere. Any big city in the U.S., Canada, England etc. will have mosques, restaurants, and citizens who identify with Islam in all sorts of diverse ways. This personal essay, called "Practicing Islam in Short Shorts," is an example: http://truestories.gawker.com/practicing-islam-in-short-shorts-1683991294 It does take a certain level of trust and humility to walk into a space where white males aren't the majority, but once you are willing to do that, you might be surprised at what you discover. Just sit down, enjoy the food, listen to the conversations around you, and observe the clientele. Believe it or not, people who run restaurants are there to make money, not to kill customers. Anyway. It's something to think about.

Thank you. I hadn't heard of Meetup before. I will take a look. Sorry for being off-topic, I just thought that since this is a gathering-place for everyone who is thinking about attending or already attending graduate school, there might be a more relevant group of young people I could try to connect with.

Hi, my name is Stephanie and I am currently a first-year PhD student in English Literature at UBC. My life right now is basically seminars, papers, reading, presentations, bibliographies, yoga, dancing, walking around and enjoying the beautiful city of Vancouver. I'm lucky to be living in such a lovely place, to have the chance to pursue higher education, and to not have to worry about money for the next few years. I am, however, looking for something more, which is why I decided to make an account here. I'm approaching my mid-twenties now and very much aware that with each passing month I am only going to get older. I am at the prime dating time of my life, but I'm just not meeting anybody I like because my day-to-day life is so filled. I have lots of friends and acquaintances, but many of them are at a transient or uncertain period in their life now. There doesn't seem to be anyone on the same page as me in terms of life-goals. My parents are immigrants, so I have to build my local connections almost entirely on my own. I also don't have a religious affiliation, which means I'm missing out on a lot of networking that happens at religious gatherings. I would identify myself as a Third Culture Individual, my three cultures being China (where my parents are from), Singapore (where I spent the first part of my youth), and North America-- Canada a bit more than the States (where I spent the latter part of my youth). In terms of citizenship I am American by birthright, but looking to obtain Canadian citizenship soon because I enjoy living in Canada more. I speak perfect North American English, and am also fluent in Mandarin, meaning I don't have to translate in my head before I speak. I am however a bit stronger in English than I am in Mandarin. I also speak a little bit of French, but not fluently, and am open to learning other languages. I pick up languages quite easily. I'm looking for someone who: - is also in Vancouver and planning on living here for the next few years - is either in academia or sympathetic to academia, and who ideally has at least a master's degree - ideally comes from a different discipline, so we can have more dynamic conversations - is of a totally different ethnicity than me. This is important to me because I want to have mixed-race children for personal, political, and philosophical reasons. - is open to starting a family together in the future, in about 8 years or so - is attentive, warm, thoughtful, hopeful, and kind - has a good life of his own and isn't looking for someone to "complete" him or whatever, but rather someone to share life's adventures with - has travelled extensively, read extensively, and has a broad, open worldview. Appreciative of the beauty of diverse languages, religions and cultures. - communicates candidly and enjoys talking about a variety of topics - holds a passionate, celebratory, exploratory attitude toward life - is healthy. Close to average height (5'8'' or so?) and average build (neither too macho/big nor too weak/skinny) is best. Language and religion does not matter at all to me. I'm willing to learn Hindi or Urdu or whatever the case may be, and possibly even convert to a religion if I like you enough, as long as you practice a contemporary, relatively open-minded form of religion, and are willing to learn about my cultural backgrounds too. Please let me know if this is off-topic for this forum, and where I should go. I've tried places like OKCupid and Plentyoffish but they give me too many irrelevant matches. Coffee Meets Bagel would be much closer to what I'm looking for, but it's not available in Vancouver yet. Thank you Also, feel free to ask me any questions about UBC, Vancouver or whatever. I'm happy to help. If you want to friend me on Facebook, please send me a message first to introduce yourself.