what_now

It's not that I can only imagine myself at a top 10 department, its that so much of the information online indicates that going to a lesser-ranked program is a one-way ticket to the sessional ghetto. Some of my professors have also actively discouraged me from applying to lower-ranked programs where I have great POIs/fit, for post-grad placement reasons (incidentally, some of the same professors who stressed the importance of the GRE Q score). I do love research, in fact, which is why I want to be able to get an academic job after and continue to act on that love of research , rather than living paycheque to paycheque with no research budget. Anyway, thanks everyone for your words of re-assurance. Giving up on the basis of a Q score is probably rash, and I hope you're right that applications are reviewed holistically. I appreciate everyone who took the time to reply.

Hi everyone, So I just took the GRE for the second time, in preparation for PhD applications and it didn't go very well. I've spent the past 3 years getting as much research experience as I possibly could, as well as extracurriculars, and working myself constantly to the bone. I'll have glowing references from the top people in my subfield in my country, multiple coauthored working papers, a great gpa from a tough school, and a strong, award-winning writing sample. I've sacrificed my health (mental and otherwise), and my social life, in pursuit of a stronger applicant profile. But, in spite of it all, I have serious anxiety about and difficulty with standardized tests, and - even though I do quantitative work - I have only been able to pull off a mediocre Q score (157 last time, 158 this time). I can try to take the test one more time in November, but as I'm in a Master's program its not going to be possible for me to drop everything and study for it, so I'm not sure that I could raise it much higher. I'm writing this post because basically - I don't know what to do at this point. I know that getting a PhD outside of the top 10 makes it very hard for your to get an academic job after. I know that top 10 schools consider the GRE as gospel. I know that I want to be an academic, and that I would be a great one. But I also don't want to sink $1000 into PhD applications, when my GRE score will preclude me from admission anywhere with a good placement record. If you were in my position, what would you do? Wait a year? Give up? Try anyway and just hope to hell it works out? I'm honestly at a loss.