this was my first time applying. I've only officially heard from 2 but already decided I'll just apply next year. as far as what to do with my life, I'd already been a working artist before this...really institutional validation is nice but I'm not holding my breath. Art is supposed to be a space of fun and freedom and community and panels don't have the right or ability to deny that to you.
honestly, I was really depressed when the rejections started happening. I started to question my portfolio, the ideas behind my work, whether I was wasting my time doing detailed oil paintings. rejection confirmed all my worst insecurities. what's been making me feel better is spending time in my studio, being part of an upcoming group show and the planning/distraction behind it, and time.