ZaphodB

I am in the sciences. I have an M.S. and I am currently working on a Ph.D.. My experience with advisers in the sciences is that they are all completely stressed out, wack job, bat-shit crazy assholes (my apologies to any advisers on the forum). My Masters adviser said extremely rude things to me on a regular basis, and my Ph.D. adviser is no better (possibly worse, actually). The last time I had a one-on-one meeting with him, he compared me to one of his Masters students and told me "If I were to compare you to [so-and-so Masters student who has done such-and-such amazing things] I would have to say that you didn't do very much this semester." He also said that taking care of my child is "a personal choice" (as if I can choose not to care for my kid if I want to) and that I shouldn't let it effect my work. I just had a meeting with him last night in which he told me that a recent draft abstract I sent to him for comments was "sloppy and half-assed" (his words exactly). So, bottom line is, don't sweat it. Your adviser is just displaying the same asshole tendencies as every other adviser in the sciences. I get through it by telling myself that: 1. It probably has very little to do with me, but in reality is more a product of the fact that my adviser is completely stressed out for whatever reason (e.g. my adviser is currently about to come up for tenure review, and he has very little to show for his last year of work). I believe the short description for this is "Shit roles downhill.". 2. I think of grad school as "academic bootcamp" and my advisers as "academic drill seargents". Their job is basically to "beat you into shape" academically speaking, and they can't accomplish this by "being nice". You wouldn't expect a military drill seargent to "be nice" to his cadets, so why expect an academic drill seargent to be that way? So, just suck it up, put your head down and do what you have to do. Recognize your adviser's BS as BS, learn whatever lesson you think this BS might be able to teach you (but know that sometimes, BS is just BS), and let the rest slide off like so much runny shit off a hot tin roof.