monsieurpsychosis

Thank you both, this was what I needed to hear.

I'll try to make this story as short as I can. I applied to Brown and Duke. For whatever rankings are worth, they are both top 10 programs in my field (I really don't want to specify what it is in case someone finds this)--some metrics have Brown higher and some Duke, it's a bit of a wash. Going into applications, both programs were extremely appealing, but I'd be lying if I said Duke weren't my top choice; it has some very well-regarded scholars who inspired a lot of my work during undergrad. I received an interview from Duke but was ultimately waitlisted. A few days later, I received an acceptance from Brown. I was of course overjoyed regardless of Duke, and I enjoyed the program a lot when I visited. I had received some other offers, but Brown really seemed like a no-brainer a week ago when I officially accepted. Now, I THOUGHT that I had considered everything from all angles; I did think about what I would do if Duke took me off the waitlist, and for whatever reason felt confident enough in Brown to go ahead and accept. Two days ago, I got an email from Duke saying they were thinking about taking me off the waitlist and asking if I still wanted a spot. Granted, this was not an actual offer, but the wording was such that I think I would more likely than not have gotten one if I had said I wanted it. I spent two days panicking; I'm surprised at how differently I felt when the possibility of switching was actually in front me. My first instinct was actually to tell them I had accepted another offer but was still interested in seeing theirs, but after thinking about how awful it would look to Brown if they found out I was even entertaining another offer and how there really wasn't enough of a difference for me to justify considering switching, I sent them an email this morning regretfully taking myself off the waitlist. I'm worried I've made a bad choice, either today when I took myself off Duke's waitlist or a week ago when I accepted Brown. Now, importantly, if I step back and look at what I know now about the two programs and schools, I think it's more likely than not (maybe 65-70%) that I would have chosen Brown in the end even if I was accepted to Duke right away. That said, it's far from certain, and I never actually got to visit Duke. In terms of location and overall school culture, Brown is clearly a better fit for me. In terms of program fit, though, both are strong fits, but I keep thinking about all the people at Duke I won't get to work with now; I'm tempted to say it's just a slightly better fit with my interests. Funding was likely close to a wash; Brown probably is giving a bit more than Duke would, but difference in cost of living might make up for it. I know I can't do anything to change this now, but I really want to be as thrilled about attending Brown as I was a week ago (it's an awesome program, and this was my dream school going into undergrad, after all). Did anyone else have second thoughts when they made their decision? How do you feel now? Looking for something reassuring.