Please help. In the spring 2017 application cycle, I applied to 7 programs. 4 were MA programs in Medieval Art, and 3 were PhDs in African art. 3 MA programs accepted me and 1 PhD. I chose the PhD. I have a BA in Art History and I did not take time off before starting the program.
(Can anyone see problems already?)
Obviously at the time I was conflicted about what I wanted to study, and also had no expectation that I was capable of gaining entry to a PhD program. (Self confidence isn't my strong suit.) Somebody should have told me that such a state of indecision was no time to be applying to graduate school, let alone commiting to a PhD program.
I am not happy here. I have a tolerable relationship with my advisor but it has been fraught with difficulty and misunderstanding, as I am her first graduate student. The larger problem, however, is how much I miss medieval art, and wish I could be studying that instead. African art has not inspired the kind of passion in me that I expected or that is needed to successfully continue as a researcher and a scholar. I find myself constantly jealous of friends who are studying medieval or Renaissance art history and spending time in Europe, berating myself for not having the foresight to understand what I truly cared about.
I am now in the thick of my second semester, struggling through coursework and making incredibly expensive summer travel plans to the continent that I should be far more excited about. My question is: should I pour more time and energy into this program in the hopes that I will become more invested in African art over time? Or should I drop out of the program?
I'm quite concerned about the latter because I doubt my reputation could be recovered from such a thing, and my chances of applying fruitfully to a new program would be extinguished. It seems that I am trapped in this position and my only option is to keep going and hope that I get some modicum of enjoyment out of it. Let me know if I'm wrong.
Thank you very much to anyone who responds. I feel that I have nowhere else to turn.
