Ludric

There is some truth in this: I didn't connect very strongly with the students I had conversations with and we didn't seem to share many interests, hobbies, or world views outside of our general interest in our program. However, I still felt it was important to try to make friends with them, as building a social network for yourself is important for meeting more people whom you connect with even better. But anyway, thanks for the advice everyone. For a bit more information, I had just moved to this new city last fall for my graduate program, so I was starting completely fresh in terms of socializing. I will be staying in the city over the summer break, so I am planning on joining several groups and meeting more people before my second year begins in the fall. Hopefully I will be able to make some friends this way and continue to socialize with them during the next school year.

Thanks for the advice, guys. You're right that I should have taken more initiative in inviting my classmates to things, though I have attempted this in the past: on a few occasions, I've asked if they wanted to join me in attending an upcoming concert, though each time they said they were too busy or had other plans. Similarly, last month, I told them I was celebrating my birthday and I invited them to join me at a restaurant that day - but again, they said they had other plans for that evening (I spent my birthday alone). And I have tried inviting them to simpler things, like lunch, but I've found that they either have plans with someone else, or want to scarf down lunch before rushing off to a class or to do some other project. I get the feeling that inviting my classmates to events is seen as a bit "date-like" - and all of them already have boyfriends (which might be another reason why they're reluctant to befriend me). And to clarify, yes: they are all very friendly people who are happy to chat with me, though there seems to be some reservation in going beyond just that. None of them have ever stopped me in the halls to chat with me - I've always been the one to initiate conversations with them. I have tried getting to know the students outside of my program, though in the same department. However, this hasn't yielded any success either, despite having some fairly engaging conversations with those students. I feel that we just didn't see each other frequently enough to form a connection; these students share none of my classes and do not go to the same colloquiums that I do, so I rarely ever saw them at all. Not to mention, they have already formed social circles within their own program. And yes, I have tried to join groups outside of school - but the issue has been time; after having to cancel several reservations to the events I signed up for (in order to get some readings done or a project finished for next week), I sort of gave up on that idea. However, I do make a point to do as much of my studying in the school library as possible, so that there can at least be some possibility to meet other students. Thanks again for the advice.

So the first year of my master's program is coming to an end; courses are finished, final projects are being handed in, and there's only a bit of TA work left to be done. I've learned a ton in my first year, I really enjoyed all of my classes and loved my teachers, and I got to work on a lot of interesting projects. However, one thing that I've been severely disappointed in has been on the social side of things; despite my best efforts, I've made zero friends during this first year. I just don't understand it: I attended as many social events at the school as I could throughout the year, especially at the beginning when we were still getting to know each other and when there were several events specifically for this - and then at the colloquiums throughout the year afterwards. At all of these events, I made sure to have engaging conversations with the other students, asking them about their fields of interest, where they're from, their hobbies, etc - and in general, showing an interest in them. And I continued to have conversations with these students in the halls between classes throughout the year. However, none of these interactions amounted to anything, despite showing an interest to be their friend. As I later discovered, the students in my program (a small group of about 14 students) are all good friends with each other, and they frequently do things in groups; studying, watching movies, going out for lunch, etc. However, none of them have ever invited me to such events, so I ended up spending all of my time outside of class alone. I suppose it's worth mentioning that my program consists almost entirely of female students, and I am the only male - so I thought this might have factored into their reluctance to invite me to these "all-girl" gatherings. Do any of you have advice on this matter so I don't mess up again next year? Suggestions would be appreciated, and feel free to ask any questions.