TVZ

I want to thank those who have responded. As far as the comments re: first year review: I understand that a review is a place to critique, hopefully constructively (mine was not constructive) your performance. I am in a very small cohort, and I have asked those in my cohort about their reviews, and they were either more even handed, definitely more constructive, or, in one case, completely glowing. Trust me, I am not trying to play the victim, and I do not want to feel this way, but I cannot help but feel that maybe this is a bad fit, and the department feels that way as well. As a result, I have begun reaching out to other programs to gauge their interest. I really appreciate the advice on housing and legal issues. I felt the approach taken by University Housing was wrong when I was faced with it, and they tried to play it off as they do not have to follow state rules regarding evictions, etc. I have countered in email after doing some more research into Federal rules, and hopefully they will back off a bit. Orphic, thank you for asking about how I am doing (although, I am actually a working father). The service provider that was working with my child has offered us family and individual therapy, and we are getting that organized as well.

Hello all, I am in a bind, more emotionally than anything else, but I need to vent. I have finished one year of my PhD successfully, but that is only academics. Non-academically there have been some speed bumps, and I feel as though I have gotten no support from my university or department. In fact, due to one issue, I feel attacked by my university. Allow me to explain. I live in family housing run by the university, and I can't afford to not live on campus. One of my children has psychiatric issues, which were under control for quite a few years, but resurfaced in the Spring. One incident required calling police for help so we could get them transferred to an acute psychiatric facility for better help than we were getting from her normal medical team. Because we called the police for assistance, we got on housing's radar. Not only did we get on their radar, we were told due to student code of conduct rules that governed me as the student, if we did not find another place for my child to live, we would be evicted. Naturally, I have been fighting this, but I really don't have money to lawyer up if it gets to that. As I stated above, I don't have the money to not live on campus either. As for my department, of course this incident had affected my program a bit, although not as much as you would have figured. I had to drop one class, which is not ideal, but I am a family person as well as a grad student, and the department was aware of that from the beginning. In fact, my background both personally and professionally are one of the reasons they chose me. Other than that, I had to miss a couple of classes for appointments for my child, but I always told the prof in advance, and any work that needed to be done was done beforehand. I felt bad for missing classes (it really was not that many, other students missed consistently more than I did), but I was always told it was understood and ok. So, I ended the semester feeling a bit better about things, I got A's in my remaining two classes, and I was grateful to have made it. Then, I got my first year review. In this review I was targeted for having too many outside distractions (keep in mind, I got A's in my classes), I had too many absences, and I didn't complete a full time schedule. In a five paragraph review, four focused on negatives, and only one said anything positive. I have a 3.8 for the year, granted not great, but not terrible either, and a 4.0 in the worst possible semester I could have had. It doesn't help that I have never quite felt that the department I am in is the most welcoming. Most profs are never around, nor are most grad students. I can count the number of PhD students I know personally on one hand in a program where it takes many more hands to count them all...the same for profs. So, I feel unwelcome, and that maybe this is not the place for me. But, I am also feeling stuck. I have finished a year, with only one year of full time coursework left, and one class in one semester to make up for the dropped course. I feel very alone, and the couple of times I brought this subject up with my advisor or the grad coordinator they insist everything is fine, which is not how I feel at all. Even if I could leave, it is too late to find another ship to jump to for Fall, and how would I explain why I want to leave where I am at? How would I get recommendations from anyone here, when it seems from my review that none of my profs have much positive to say about me? I know the most important thing is getting and keeping my child well, which we have made great strides in. But, my child also feels unwelcome here as we have to "hide" them so housing authorities will not know they are here. And of course, I keep playing the "what if" game, as in "what if I would have chosen school B over school A, I wonder if they still want me." I just feel lost and alone and I needed to vent. I don't know if anyone has any words of wisdom, and I understand if not. Really, I just needed to vent a little anyway. Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.