It's good that everyone has the same classes so they won't be filled. In English, we are more divided according to track (i.e. literature, linguistics, writing, etc.) and then in literature according to our area of specialty. There are 500 level classes, but those really are for the master's students. The Ph.D. students take 600-700 level classes and by the time I was registering in April, there were only 3 literature classes left. So, a great deal of difference.
I do hope you are able to work things out. During my undergrad and MA I had a 45 minute drive each way. It gets very old, especially when you have been on campus all day and need to work more once you get home. The drive drained any energy I had left, leaving me like mush. Good luck!
I agree with MarineBlue on most of their thoughts, especially the one where you and your fiancé rent an apartment together. You will save the cost of gas and wear/tear on both vehicles. You seem to be late 20s/early 30s, unless there is some problem barring living together before marriage and that doesn't seem likely since you were going to live with him if he bought a house, why haven't you two looked at the possibility of renting a place closer? You didn't mention if you were going to receive a stipend, just that partial tuition would be covered. You also mention working as an RA in a lab. Hopefully, you will be getting some sort of stipend for that work. It's getting very late in the season to not have registered for classes as you have indicated. In my case, the DGS shot me an email about a good time to talk over the phone about classes. After we spoke about classes and requirements, I registered for the classes she advised me to take. Even in April, the choice was limited because it was after all of the existing grad students had registered. Anyway, good luck on your decision!
Wow. Ok so I have a few thoughts here, hopefully I can express them in an organized fashion.
First your fiance........
I understand deciding against buying an overpriced house especially when it is unclear how long the market will be stable, but telling you that commuting over an hour to school while living apart is "totally doable" is not a generous offer. You don't need to discuss all the details of your relationship, but if you 2 are open to living together prior to the wedding then it seems odd that he wouldn't be interested in renting a place with you that reduces the commute burden (potentially for both of you). If he's willing to help you with expenses then it seems like living together is an easier way to do that especially if you're getting married next year.
Commuting to school........
I commuted over an hour for my unfunded Master's program and it worked out well. I was able to keep my job and health benefits while adjusting my work schedule so that I could time my drive so I didn't sit in traffic. However, all of those hours on the road were still lost and the extra wear on my car lead to increased maintenance costs.
Now that I'm in a PhD program I realized immediately that a commute that far would not work with all of the skills and training I wanted to gain. There are students in my program who live 30+ minutes away (by freeway) and the hassle is evident on their faces. Sometimes traffic and/or parking is horrendous so they're late. Sometimes they have to drive to campus for only their lab meeting that ends after 15 minutes or for one client who no shows. Or something gets left at home or on campus and another trip has to be made. Other times they have to be in the lab late or see clients late and if their day has already been 10+ hours long a lengthy drive on top of that sucks and could be dangerous. If their car breaks down and there's no public transit where they live then they're screwed.
You don't have to live in walking distance of campus, but it is advantageous to be within 10-15 minutes on city streets or have the option of taking public transit quickly. This is precisely my situation now and its fabulous. I have more time for studying, seeing clients on or offsite, and lab work. I don't have to get up very early if I don't want to and even after long days on campus I don't get home so late that I'm too tired to do anything else.
Living at home.......
I too am an older student and the best decision I made was spending a little bit more to live all by myself in a bigger place. This way I have a whole room that is an office with plenty of room to brainstorm, cartwheel, or lay on the floor and vent Mindy Lahiri style. If your parents are familiar with the life of a grad student and a dedicated quiet space can be created for you then that might be different. But if that isn't an option and their place is too far then do not do this to yourself. If you and your fiance find a way to live together I highly suggest making sure the place can accommodate your having a dedicated office. Being able to shut the door on all your school stuff will give you a sense of separation when you take breaks and allow you to immerse yourself in a task while he's home doing something else.
Sticking with your chosen program.......
Ultimately this is going to be your call. I think your current advisors make a good point that it is very difficult to get into any program with some funding, especially a neuropsych program. If the faculty you'll have access to are well known in their field and their former students have gone on to successful careers then that is definitely something to keep in mind. You say the funding package isn't great, but is doable. You don't have to provide details, but really think about what that means. Does doable mean only with your fiance's help? If so that's a big risk if something were to happen with your relationship or his financial situation. Does doable mean with a few student loans? If you're still eligible for the federal ones then this isn't a terrible option in my opinion. If doable means sacrificing your health or safety in some way then its not worth it.
Also think about how challenging application cycles are. You got into a program for this season, but if you reapply next year that doesn't mean you will. Programs able to take (and fund) students change, advisors may seek a different fit, other applicants may stand out more than you, and my understanding is professors talk and may find it odd that you rejected a perfectly good offer. Or you might get several offers and still be unhappy with the funding. So maybe a good way to look at it is if you reject your current offer and reapply next year, will you be willing to reapply the following year if for some reason you don't get in or find your funded offers lacking?
