marsupialswing

Hi, You seem to be a person of great potential who is facing some personal issues. I don't believe anyone here on this forum will be able to offer you the kind of assistance you're seeking - simply because they don't know the full dimension of the issues you're facing and, therefore, will be wary of poking their noses into your life. Any reasonable person will choose to refrain from suggesting a course of action to someone whom everything they know about can be summed up in two posts on a forum dedicated to the discussion of academic matters among potential and current graduate students. Only those close to you and professionals trained to provide counseling can do that. So I'm not writing this as some advice on how to sort out the things that are troubling you. I do believe, however, that you should seek professional guidance from someone specialized in mental health. In my opinion, you should not rely on forums like this one - or any forum or social media for that matter - in your search for help. I assure you that there are individuals out there who are willing and would be happy to converse with you face-to-face and thoroughly understand what is putting such strain on you before talking you through possible solutions to it. All the best.