It's been a shit week for me, my cat suddenly became sick and died unexpectedly on Friday. I skipped class that day, and I still haven't emailed the professor to apologize for missing class – and I'm unsure/concerned about what to say since I'm a first-year and the professor of the class I skipped also happens to be my advisor.
My reasons for hesitation are manifold. For one, this isn't something I would have told my undergrad advisor – in fact, when my grandmother died while I was in undergrad, I didn't alert her even though it had happened the day before the midterm for her class. (There are differences this time around, though, being that I'm much more torn up over my cat than I was over my grandmother – my grandmother was old, already sick, and we weren't that close. My cat was young, died unexpectedly, and was my best friend. I also didn't exactly have the best/closest relationship with my undergrad advisor – she was assigned to me last-minute and I'm pretty sure she didn't even know I was her advisee.)
I also don't want to put my (grad) advisor in the awkward/uncomfortable position of having to respond to bad news. I only missed one class, and I doubt I'll miss any more, since I think throwing myself into work is the best way to deal with feeling sad. I'm just concerned that the quality of my work may go downhill, and I thought it would be a courtesy to let him know something's going on in my personal life since it might affect my work (which, right now, isn't even research, just coursework).
My final concern is that I do have a bit of a crush on my advisor (I know, I know). I'm aware it's just an infatuation and I've been assured by another student that it's entirely normal and will pass with time, but I'm concerned paranoid that sharing the details of my personal life is over-stepping some kind of professional boundary, especially when an email stating that I was just feeling unwell on Friday would be sufficient to explain my absence.
I'm aware that I'm over-thinking this, but please consider that I already have social anxiety on top of the added stress of dealing with my cat dying. I know writing emails is the least challenging part of being in grad school, but like I said – it's been a shit week.
