LosingHope

I've already gotten a MA to fix my undergraduate GPA. I've done research. I've even worked a bit. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. The more I think about this, the more I just wonder if it's better just to call it a day and just give up on it all. I have nothing else to turn to. Sometimes, I just question why I'm even still alive and why I even bother to keep trying. So much shit has gone wrong in my life, and I don't need the one thing that could take me away from all of this get cut off as well.

Guys, I've been lurking for a bit and I really don't know where else to say this. I applied to UT-Austin, Northwestern, Indiana, Berkeley, Wisconsin, Georgia, and UCSD. I haven't heard back from anyone except for UCSD and Wisconsin who rejected me. Reading this, I can heavily assume I've been rejected from everywhere as many people are getting Indiana and UT-Austin admits, on top of Northwestern and Berkeley having already sent out letters to their applicants. Honestly, I've been feeling depressed and somewhat suicidal lately. I have nothing else to look to after this. I worked so hard to do all of these things, and it just makes me so angry and sad that I haven't been able to get into anywhere. I know people like to joke about, "Oh, you've struckout" but I honestly believe this is a real possibility at this point. I have no one to talk to, no one to speak with, and nothing else to pursue in life. If I can't even get into one program, I feel like everything I've done so far in my life has been pointless. I'm sorry for the rant here. I really don't know where else to put it.