student4ever

thank you for all the responses! i appreciate the different perspectives people have brought. it's also really comforting (and inspiring, in some cases) to read about some of your experiences. i've decided to go to the better school. i realized i just had to accept the fact that i would always wonder how the alternative would have been. fortunately, my family and boyfriend were supportive of either choice. after i told my boyfriend, he said he was happy for me and excited i have this opportunity. i assured him i was still committed to the relationship and i tried to reason why a couple more years of distance might not be that bad (having already managed it, being busy during school, possibility of being together during summers, more job opportunities, etc.)... i guess i just have to wait and see how it all works out!

thanks for your thoughts. i totally see where you're coming from. but i guess i should clarify on my part-- i think i would be "happier" at my top school not because of the name or prestige but simply because there are more opportunities (more faculty that match my interests, more student organizations, more course selection, more research opportunities, etc.). this school is also closer (within driving distance) to my brother & sister-in-law... and as much as i can see a future with my boyfriend, i feel like i can always rely on family in any circumstance.

thanks pierre, good luck to you too. doesn't the decision seem obvious on some days and not others? aaah! i never thought making a decision would be so hard!!

thanks for all your thoughts! i think i would regret not going to the better school, but i would also regret if my relationship did not work out. someone mentioned to me that distance is usually an excuse for a relationship not working out... usually there are bigger issues underneath (trust, commitment, etc)... i guess there is some truth to that. to anxiousapplicant: i don't think this decision would be so difficult if i wasn't in love...

how much should i consider my boyfriend when deciding a school? he will soon be finishing his first year of a phd program at his #1 school. for Fall 2010, i was accepted into my top school (also a phd program)... but i was also accepted at my boyfriend's school. while his school is excellent in his area, it is very small and new in mine (some courses are still in development, no one has graduated from the program yet). both schools are offering financial packages, though my boyfriend's school is offering more support. we've been doing distance for over a year (him in school, me working). obviously it's hard, but we've managed it pretty well. no drama or trust issues that can sometimes arise. i'm wondering what a guy's perspective is on all this. my boyfriend hasn't really expressed his thoughts because he doesn't want me to base my decision on how he feels... he has said, though, that he recognizes that i got into a top program in my field. i think i will be happier being in a long distance relationship at my top school than being with my boyfriend at his school... am i being totally selfish? i am seriously committed to our relationship. in the long run, i just think we will have more job options in the same area by having degrees from top schools in our respective fields. what do you all think?