BroHar

I don't know why I'm writing this, but I'm overwhelmed. It's the week of decision deadlines and I've been sitting on two PhD offers for over a month now. I emailed my potential advisor at "Program A" indicating that I'd like to accept their offer, and was feeling confident about it until after I pressed send. I thought this would lift a weight off of my shoulders, but I'm instead just flooded with emotions and doubt: "Did I make the right choice?" "Am I really sure?" "Am I good enough?", etc. I'm trying to tell myself this is a temporary feeling, but it's like my indecisiveness this past month is now just imploding on me. Maybe if I outline details of each program, some words from others can reassure me: "Program A" - The top program in my field (one in the geosciences), with superstar faculty - Good funding package ($2600/month for 5 years to TA or RA, including summers) - Huge alumni network, most finding academic positions themselves - Intellectual environment where everyone's always engaged in the science - However, notorious reputation for its rigor. Students aren't the most outgoing and work constantly. Coming from a SLAC undergrad and small R3 masters program, this intimidates me greatly. I worked hard to get where I am today, but this place feeds me a new kind of imposter syndrome. - Nevertheless, I also don't think I could reasonably decline such an opportunity to go here. My feelings towards this place are a mixture of the before mentioned intimidation, but also a sense of accomplishment for getting an offer. Some have said I'd be crazy to let this one go. "Program B" - Ranked ~50 in my field (if US News is your thing) - 1 well-known advisor who is somewhat more invested in his students I would say - Decent funding ($2000/month for 4 years to TA or RA, summers not guaranteed) - Less stressful environment to me personally, and a more appealing location - The alumni network, however, is much smaller in my field, particularly in academia - My masters advisor says they'd prefer this program to the other, but fellow students and post-docs I've talked to say they'd take Program A without hesitation. This is really me saying "Do the pros of Program A outweigh my hesitations?" and "Do the pros of Program B outweigh the regret I may feel about turning down the more prestigious offer?". Well, pragmatic me only hours earlier jumped on Program A. I wish I wrote this post before I sent that email ... but now all I hope is that I'm making the right choice.