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mystique00713

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  1. Hey; I am practicing for the AWA portion of the GRE could use so help to improve my writing. Any pointers Would be greatly appreciated. The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner. "Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels." Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation. In the argument above, the author states that the prohibition of skateboarding in Central Plaza would bring business up to previous levels. However, there are still many questions that are left unanswered by the author's statement in order for it to lead to the predicted result. The statement does not answer if skateboarding is truly the cause of a decrease in business in the central plaza and there is no data or research done to support the author's statement. Finally, the author fails to answer the question that if the action of a prohibition of skateboarding in Central Plaza is taken, will this actually lead to higher business levels? First, The author fails to ask if the increase in skateboarding is the actual cause of the declining business in Central Plaza? It may be that there are other factors that are contributing to the issue which the author is not considering. For example maybe people out of town on vacation for certain season of the year, this could contribute to the decline in business at the Central Plaza. In addition, it could also be that people are moving because of a higher cost of living in the area. There also may be other plazas around and there could be an increase in competition that is taking customer's away from Central Plaza as well. Another question that is left unanswered by the author would be, is there data to support the author claims that skateboarding is indeed the cause of the decrease in business? The author could have taken the time to create a survey and have data generated to back their statement. In this case, there is no indication that the author has any type of research to support this claim. Without data or any other evidence to support the prediction, there is no certain way to claim that skateboarding is indeed the sole cause of the decrease in business in Central Plaza. Finally, one last question the author's claim does not answer is, will prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza actually cause the business to return? Because there are so many unanswered variables that could contribute to the declining business levels and the author did not discuss them. There is no clear way to know for certain what the outcome of the prohibition will be. The only way to know for certain that the prohibition of skateboarding will bring business levels up is if the data and research are available to support this claim. In conclusion, there is no way to predict that a prohibition of skateboarding will bring business back for sure because it is not entirely clear that skateboarding is the sole reason for the decrease in business. Secondly, there has not been enough data collected to confirm that the skateboarders are the reason that customers are not shopping at Central Plaza as frequently as in previous years. Finally, a prohibition of skateboarding in Central Plaza does not guarantee that business will increase to previous levels.
  2. To dkhp 124: I wanted to practice analyze the issue. Could you please give me more pointers I could use? Thank you so much. Topic: To understand the most important characteristics of a society, one must study its major cities. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position. It would do one well to study major cities because cities are a reflection of the unique aspects in society that is seen in daily life. Large cities act as epicenters, that influence significant facets of society such as culture, and the economy. Major cities such as New York attract people from all over the world, who bring their own unique traditions that influences the city and society. Wall street in New York city is an epicenter for market and trade reflecting the dynamic trends of the economy of this society. Hence, studying the phenomena in major cities could educate one on the changes occurring in society as a whole. Large cities tend to be epicenters of culture that where people are able to gather and share their own unique traditions which influence overall societal life. One example of this is the development of hip hop music. The concept of hiphop music was first developed in the Bronx, a section of New York city, where young people of color came together to express themselves in a form of music and dance. During the 1980's, hiphop was considered a trend of the youth, however, in the 1990's hiphop continued to develop and expand outside of New York City to a larger more diverse audience. As a result of its versatility hiphop music was able to be commercialized and now has a significant influence on larger society. In addition, studying the dynamic of larger cities could give on an idea of the general trends of the economy in a society. For instance, in the United States wall street in New York city is a major economic center for stock trade and exchange. In late 2007, the stocks on the New York stock exchange started doing poorly afterwards, the recession 2008 followed that affected the economy dramatically. During this time, the American economy as a whole slowed down. As a result, there were less jobs available in the market, the housing crisis occurred and the American banks depended on the government to bail them out of bankruptcy. Today, the stock on the New York stock exchange are doing well and new markets are starting to emerge. This goes to show that the trends of how well stocks are doing in wall street tend to be an indicator of how the economy is doing overall in the society. However, there are other facets of a society that are influenced not only by major cities but rural and suburban areas alike. One example is the structure of the federal government. In the legislative branch both in the House of Representatives and the Senate have representation from both major cities and small towns so that all parts of society are represented in the lawmaking process. In conclusion, large cities would be an excellent way to study trends and dynamics of society because changes and influences that occur in major cities are reflected in the whole society.
  3. To whom it concerns; I'm practicing for the GRE analytical writing section analyze the argument. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal. "A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring." Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument. In the letter to the editor above, the author states that birth order determines an individual's level of stimulation to stressful situations. The author base this argument on studies done on firstborn infant monkeys and first-time monkey mothers that showed increased levels of cortisol, a stress hormone in stimulating situations. The author also states that firstborn humans produces relatively high levels of cortisol in stressful situations as well. However, birth order is not the only explanation for such evidence. Alternative explanations that could explain the observations in the studies could be that the individual monkeys studied many have had a genetic disposition to secrete higher levels of cortisol. Another alternative explanation is learning and comprehension can be stressful if this is a first time experience. Lastly, one's diets, especially if it is high in fats and sugars could influence cortisol secretion, as well as being in an environment where there are continual stressors. First, there are genes that influence the secretion of the hormone cortisol. Perhaps the monkeys studied have a defect in the gene that allowed for cortisol to be secreted, thereby making the individual test subject more sensitive to stimulation. If that is the case, individuals who are more sensitive to stimulation may secrete higher levels of cortisol than normal. If genes make an individual more prone to higher levels of cortisol secretion during times of stress this could account for why the monkeys studied have higher levels than their counterparts. A second explanation, is that learning from an experience for the first time can be a stressful circumstance that stimulates secretion of higher cortisol levels. The first time mother monkeys may have had higher levels of stimulation of stress because they are learning how to be mothers for the first time and are unable to draw information from previous experience. Thus, making them prone to making more mistakes which leads to stress that comes from frustration of learning things without guidance or previous experience. Lastly, diet as well as being in an environment where there are constant stressors in place can promote to the evidence seen in the studies. A diet high in simple carbohydrates tend to be stored as fats and increase in body fat promotes to higher cortisol secretion. Perhaps the monkeys in the study had diets high in carbohydrates that contributed to the increase in cortisol secretion in stressful events. This could also hold true for the individual human subjects mentioned in the statement above. Perhaps those older siblings have diets that are high in carbohydrates contributing to their higher cortisol levels. Also being in a constantly stimulating environment could also promote higher cortisol secretion in the monkeys and humans. For all one knows, the lab in which the study took place may have been a place full of constant stress for the test subjects which would explain higher levels of cortisol levels. In conclusion, an individual's hormonal response to stressful stimulation can also be determined by genes, learning and comprehending the experience for the first time, diet and being in an environment full of constant stressors.
  4. To dkhp124; Thanks again! Continuing to practice.
  5. To dkhp124; Thank you for the feedback. I took some of the information that was given here and redid the essay. If you could continue to give more feedback on what I can improve your help is greatly appreaciated. I will continue to practice on other prompts. Argument: Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean. In the above argument, the author states, "that palean baskets are not uniquely palean". However, this statement is not fully supported by the evidence given. First, the author assumes that the Paleans never built boats to cross the river because no boats were found in Palea at that time. Secondly, the author assumes that the only way for the paleans to cross the Brim river is by boat. Thirdly, the author assumes that because the baskets were found in Lithos they were made in Lithos. These assumptions need to be strongly supported by evidence which the author does not provide, in order for the argument that Palean baskets are not uniquely Palean to be true. First, the assumption that the Paleans never built boats because there were no boats found in Palea, does not rule out with certainty that the Paleans never used boats to cross the Brim river. There could have been boats found in Lithos that may have been used to cross the Brim river so that the Paleans could trade with the people of Lithos.The palean people could have used the woven baskets to trade with the Lithan people for other goods and that may be the reason why the woven baskets appear in the village of Lithos. If the palean people were able to use boats from Lithos, this would weaken the author's argument. The argument would be stronger if the author could also provide evidence that there were no boats in Lithos or any village nearby. Secondly, the author assumes that the only way the Paleans could cross the Brim river is by boat. The author bases his assumption on the width and depth of the Brim river but does not exclude alternative routes that the Paleans could have taken to get to Lithos. There could have been a road that goes around the Brim river to Lithos from Palea that was used for trade. If this is the case, there could have been opportunities for those Palean baskets to get to the town of Lithos by a trade road rather than a river. In order for the argument to be stronger, the author would need to rule out alternative routes. Lastly, the author assumes that the baskets found in Lithos where made by the people of Lithos. If along with the finding of the baskets, the author provided evidence that there were raw materials to make the baskets in Lithos or nearby, this could strengthen the author's argument. However, the author does not provide such evidence to support this assumption. In conclusion, the argument that "the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean" is not supported by enough evidence by the author to be true. The author uses the assumptions that the Palean people could not have to cross the river by boat because there was no finding of boats on Palea. Nonetheless, they did not rule out the possibility that the Paleans could be using boats from Lithos. Secondly, the author assumes in the argument that the only way for the Paleans to get across the Brim river is by boat. Yet the author failed to provide evidence that would explain why alternative trade routes would not be used by thePaleans to go to Lithos. Lastly, the author's argument assumes that the baskets found in Lithos were created in Lithos but does not provide evidence to support such a claim. Overall, the author's argument "that Palean baskets are not uniquely Palean" is not backed by the evidence the author has given in order for the argument to be true.
  6. Could someone please review my practice writing for the analyze the arugment tasks? I really need some pointers. Thanks Argument: Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean. Task: Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument. The author's augment that Palean baskets are not uniquely Palean is not fully supported by the evidence given. It is stated that woven baskets with a "particular distinctive pattern" previously found in only the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea were also found Lithos which is across the Brim River. The author's assumes that because of the depth and width of the river the only way for the Palean people to cross is by boat, disregarding any other means of travel that may have gotten the baskets to Lithos. The author also uses the lack of Palea boats found by archaeologist at the time as another way to support their argument that Palean people could not have crossed the river to Lithos. The fact that archaeologist did not find boats in Palea does not mean that the Palean people did not build boats. Nor does it support the assumptions that the author makes which is the Paleans could not have crossed the Brim river. The lack of boats found in Palea simply means that the boats are not in Palea, but it does not mean they cannot be anywhere else. If the author could provide evidence such as archeological finding of the same woven baskets in other prehistoric towns from different groups of people perhaps this could strengthen their argument.
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