Potemkin

I just came home from tutoring some freshers and laid down on my bed in anticipation for a lazy evening, when it occurred to me that I haven't checked the application portal for a whole day (unbelievable, I know!). Opening it, I saw that my application status changed; immediately, I got so nervous I couldn't even read the update in full, but I saw the word "approved" somewhere buried in the text. I got even more excited, called my mum to tell her about it, grabbed a beer to calm me down and teared up a little after hanging up...I'm not usually very emotional, but realizing that all the years of hard work and anxiety about my future were not in vain, that soon I was going to live in another country to attend my dream program, were a bit overwhelming at the moment. And it stills feels a bit unreal, I have to say.

To be honest, I never really thought about it...I guess failure is too terrible to contemplate. But as good luck has it, I recently started a job that is quite nice, so in all likelihood I would continue working for a year in order to safe some money and then reapply. Or maybe I would accept my defeat and simply go to a safety school, which (surely?!) won't reject me.

I remember reading – I think somewhere in the Manhattan Prep material –that spelling isn't really that important in the AWA section, as long as it is clear what you meant to write. They are more interested in the actual substance and form of the text. So I think either spelling convention should be fine. (And also, length is supposed to positively correlate with score, but correlation doesn't equal causation etc.)

Thanks, I will!

This thread is a great idea! It's comforting to know that you are not the only one who hasn't everything figured out.. Worries: My first application that I have sent out so far (to my top choice, no less) could have been better than it was – I'm not sure if I struck the right tone in my SOP, as I'm naturally bad at writing those, and on top of that it contains a silly mistake. It's so small that you wouldn't notice it if you are not in the field, and even then only if you read it very carefully, but I'm afraid that it completely damages my credibility if they figure it out. Also, I have no clue how to finance my studies if I get accepted without a scholarship; the prospect of having to reject my dream programs for lack of funding worries me a lot and is a very real possibility. Sometimes, I even wonder why I bother applying in the first place...Finally, I have done quite okay so far academically, but I often fear that I will never be able to fulfill my family and friend's expectations this has created and that they will end up seeing me as a failure even if I end up in a position I'm happy with. Excitement: At least on paper, I'm a very competitive candidate: Strong grades with relevant coursework, strong results in the GRE, famous letter writers (moderately famous in the discipline, at least), relevant internship experience and so on. So at the very least, I hope I'm not completely deluding myself when I believe that I have shot at being accepted and getting some kind of funding. I'm also excited about the prospect of further studies: I love my field and I couldn't imagine doing anything else with myself, even if I don't end up at one of my top choices. I'm also looking forward to study in another country, meet new people and begin a new phase of my life.