isle435

Okay, the future is coming into focus.
Last week I declined York University's fully funded offer + fellowship (English).
Today I declined Purdue's fully funded offer + fellowship (American Studies).
I think the finality of the decision is what has been giving me trouble; the moment before deciding my life could go in multiple directions. By saying 'no' I'm giving up an alternate academic experience and a hypothetical life elsewhere. 

If you weren't good enough to be there you wouldn't be there. Or do you think that the people on the committees of elite English departments lack reading comprehension skills? You didn't get in because they believed you were a fully finished scholar, if you were, you wouldn't need to be in a PhD program. You got in because they believed you had the potential to become a fully finished scholar.