I'm sorry, I know how you feel. I'm waiting on rejections as well. But keep in mind that the acceptance rate is about 1%, and that was in 2019. So many more people applied this year, and there are fewer spots because of less funding. I bet it'll be easier next year! And who knows, maybe you'll find a job with a nice in to one of your ideal schools!
My point is, while it's fine to be disappointed and pessimistic (goodness knows I am), let's remember that rejections are not personal, and they don't dictate who we are or what we're capable of. It just means that there are 4 spots for 800 applicants.