I just joined this site, found your post, and felt so relieved and glad to be here. Count me as another 40-something (44) hoping to re-enter grad school to become a clinical psychologist. I could have written so much of what you said, about knowing you want to focus more on clinical work but wanting to gain research experience, not wanting to pursue an MSW because it's psychology that is your passion but appreciating the social justice aspect of MSW training, being afraid of being "too old."
I'm not as far along in my search as you are and I'm not sure of the best sources to look for programs. I want excellent clinical training as well as training in research. I want to be fully funded because I NEED to be in order to swing a doctorate financially. I want a program that doesn't treat psychology as a branch of medicine. And most of all, I want to be in a program that's supportive, inclusive, with mentors who genuinely enjoy nurturing graduate students and feel a sense of responsibility in seeing them succeed. As far as I know, there's no guide that relays subjective information like this.
Anyway, I'm so glad to know I'm not alone and crazy in considering that I could return to grad school for a Ph.D. in my forties! For several years I'd told myself that ship had sailed, but maybe due to the pandemic, I started to see my possibilities a little differently.
Good luck and maybe we can find ways on here to support each other in our journeys.