Hi Norwood!
I'm really really sorry for what you are going through. I do not have any comfort or advice besides the fact that I deeply commiserate with you. Sorry. But I agree with you that life can go very suck, and at this point no light uplifting words can work... I feel bad for you, truly... because I do hate life, because it treats many good people very badly... I am sorry.
Know that you are not alone in the mire of life ... I think negativity is probably a condition of life... I like this anecdote of Beckett:
This one time, Samuel Beckett and a friend were crossing a field outside Paris. The sun came out from behind a cloud and SB’s friend said, “It’s a lovely day, Sam.”
SB: “That it is, that it is.”
Friend: “Almost makes one glad to be alive.”
SB: “I wouldn’t go that far.”
I hope you can still gather yourself together in this mire ... how? I don't know. for me I only read (I mean anything) when I am really depressed, but they do not in any way mitigate my feelings or solve my problems. but sometimes they understand how bad I feel... and that might be a comfort. I have three straight rejections and two pending ones, so congratulations on your at least having a waitlist! It is not a guarantee to anywhere, but you know your writings is approved of by someone ? I agree with all @DayOld711Pizza said. Also, if you are looking for specific advices on how to proceed, I think Draft might be the place to ask, if only because many vets in Draft are experienced in applying for MFA for many times while balancing life and writing.
Please forgive my very weak reply, because I only gather my crippled minds/shits enough to write a reply ... ?