craftstudying

I am a newbie here having read, rather extensively, every conceivable thread about Composition and Rhetoric – a field that I believe I am passionate about (although, from what I have read, the definition of “passion” is a different game in grad school than it is in undergraduate school). I am getting a lot of mixed signals, specifically that the field of humanities is a dead zone of jobs, but the specific discipline of Composition and Rhetoric is growing. For the latter, I feel that I am being overly optimistic about going into Comp/Rhet since it is a growing job market – in a tiny, shrinking one (Humanities/English). I am wondering if I should go and get my Ph.D – a thought that has been burning in mind these past few years – or if I should realistically just give up the dream. About myself: I am two years out of undergraduate school, a graduate of a top university with decent grades (3.89 – I am the child of millennial inflation…), wrote an English Honors thesis (a creative writing piece that doubled as a “craft study”), won a few departmental awards here and there (but nothing too big) and am really good friends with the Director of Writing, the Director of the Writing Center, and the Department Director (let’s just say I’ve been in all of their cars and have had conversations on speed dating, life, etc. – things that I fondly look back on). It had a wonderful time in my English department and think of it often. More specifically, during undergrad, I fell in love with tutoring in our Writing Center, with all the readings we had in my writing theory class, and am currently a College Counselor working with low-income, first generation students. I love my job, but I am finding that my specific interest is watching their writing develop from thought to final product – and all the cultural/language barriers that are entailed in academic writing, ESL teaching, critical though development, etc. In short (well, not short, I guess): I want to direct a Writing Center and I want to teach Composition and Rhetoric – along with design programming that would assist students, regardless of background to develop their thoughts, critical thinking skills, and analytical ability, coalescing all of it into the academic writing they are expected to produce. I also want to research this extensively since I come from the same background as many of my students – which is why I opt for academia. I’m not sure if I am trying to relive my glory days (well, you know – as glorious as undergraduate academia can be, which is not quite glorious) or if what I am choosing to go into is generic, not conducive to any financial livelihood, and just career suicide. I love all that I wrote in the above, but I also want to be able to own property some day, take care of my parents at some point, and start a family. At this point, what I have written is where my idealistic heart is – but my realistic mind is also telling me to get an MPA/MPP or a non-profit focused MBA to perhaps run a non-profit that may do all of the above. But, in the long run, I do see myself researching, enjoying administrative work at a university level, and running a Writing Center. I am just not sure what is viable. My top choice is the University of Texas program (I am from Texas but have spent the last 6 years away from the state) – and to go somewhere where I am fully funded – I am most definitely in undergraduate debt, which already terrifies me. Any advice welcome – my apologies for being so wordy!