i remember seeing someone post in this forum a while back about dealing with the dissonance of receiving rejections when you have professors and mentors who really believe in you and told you you'd get in anywhere you want. i felt the same way, almost wishing they hadn't built up my confidence. well, today i emailed those professors and mentors to let them know i didn't get in anywhere this year, and i have received some of the kindest, most encouraging responses. i feel so bolstered by them in this shitty process. thanks to their confidence in me and my dreams, i know i'll have enough confidence in myself to try again next year.