swimmingbird

Ask the professor questions! A lot of professors will get really excited about their research and talk and talk, and that way 1) it takes the pressure off you for a bit, 2) you seem interested, and 3) you can have positive interactions where you ask follow-ups questions or just say "Oh that's so cool!" Plus, almost anyone likes someone who wants to hear them talk. Also, phone interviews are inherently a little awkward - I'm totally with nessa on the thing about misjudging when people are done talking; and some people are impossible to end phone conversations with, which is another issue - so don't blame yourself! The professor has done tons of these, remember; he knows they're awkward. At least with phone interviews you can make faces to yourself and look up unfamilar jargon on the internet...

I would be extremely skeptical of some of those reasons you were given for rejection, namely: - Needing two first-authored papers: no way. In bio, at least, almost no one has this. I had just one first-authored paper submitted for review, that got accepted late into the decision process (January-ish?), and I got in to several very very top-tier schools. - Being too specific: this is not impossible, but it seems weird. My experience was that people found it encouraging that I had specific ideas, and I suspect I got into so many places partly because I stated very specifically what sort of project I would do if I were accepted. I wonder if, in your case, they feel that you are too committed to your initial project? Perhaps you should try saying you want to do your NSF project but will be open to changing it once you try it out and see if it works, if it illuminates new avenues, etc.? Are your recommendation letters likely to be good? Recommendations can matter a lot; so can mere social chemistry. If you have trouble with social interactions, you may have to look a little harder for an advisor who will understand that. And they definitely exist - there are a lot of successful academics who aren't particularly interested in social subtleties! The trick to getting admitted is having a professor who really wants you.

I'm at a UC school (not Davis). The funding where I am is bad - technically below the poverty line! However Davis is less expensive than my area, so not as bad; and department funding here bumps everyone up to poverty level. (Umm... lucky us?) If you are invited to interview they will give you all this info, and the other grad students will be honest about it. Grad students love complaining. Your decision of whether or not to apply should be research-based, not financial. Davis won't let you starve or go homeless. (When I visited Davis to interview, I stayed with happy grad students who lived comfortably in a big house with pets and ate fresh fruit from the farmer's market all the time - not exactly suffering souls!) If you think it might be the place for you, don't turn away that possibility just because of an application fee! And conversely if you don't want to go, heck, why bother applying?

While I don't really agree with the tone some people are taking in this conversation, I do think that their message of "slow down" is an important one. AC, you're very new at your current institution, and it's hard to know how much of your discomfort is just a result of not being settled in yet. I know I'm new to my program and I'm profoundly uncomfortable and often feel that if I had gone somewhere else it might be better, and I don't think it's because the program's structure is wrong for me - I'm just very unsettled-in. Also, it's very important to consider how what you do will look to others. Imagine this is a job on your resume: would it look good to quit after a few months? No!! My advice would be to wait AT LEAST a year. You need to be sure that you truly can't work with this program, and you need to assure other people that you took the time to give it a chance. Ideally, do get that MS; you won't have to "start all over" afterwards, time-wise, for your PhD, because you'll have gained so much research experience you'll be much more efficient in your dissertation work. Something that I feel hasn't been said yet and should have been is this: if you give this program a real chance and it doesn't work, get that MS and get out. Do not get a PhD in a field you don't like or with people you don't respect. Your work will not be your best, and your PhD will not reflect what you really want to do. Your dissertation work is what will get you noticed, will brand you, and will get you a job and a career - or not. So, first, give yourself the chance to really evaluate this program and give yourself a reputation for rational, deliberate decision-making. Then, whatever you decide, get a PhD that reflects what you want to do.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm in the same boat: I knew with absolute certainty that I wanted to go for my PhD, and that it would be awesome; and now I'm here, and while my advisor is good and my fellow grad students seem fine, it just sucks. I'm lonely all the time and have trouble getting excited about my work, which never happened to me in undergrad. Of course this means I don't have much advice - if I had it, I wouldn't be like this! But my plan for the moment is to stick with it. I don't have any better ideas for what to do, and if I left a lot of people would be disappointed. And a PhD is a good thing to have whether you stay in academia or not. There's always a chance things will get better, too... and if they stay this bad, well, maybe quit after you pass quals; then at least you get a Masters (at most places anyway). It's comforting - in a sad way - to see how many people on this forum seem to be having this similar issue. At least we're not alone. One bit of advice I do have is to look into doing some outreach or community service. I got involved with a community service program here and it's the one thing I enjoy; it feels meaningful and the other volunteers are nice.