lapelosa

I just want to say that there are some seriously awesome people up here in the Grad Cafe.

Haha! What's the agonizing decision that _you_ need to make? I wish that I could whittle it down to which school is in a place with more hotties (quality of life, hey), but both are already in NYC.

My number one concern when choosing a program is that I finish on time, with a good dissertation, and be in a good position for the job market. I just came from visiting both programs in NYC, and now my mind is all atwirl and I am agonizing and stuff. Fordham faculty were absolutely wonderful to me, and they are offering a fellowship of just above $25,000, plus teaching one course per term after the first year. I saw much less of CUNY faculty -- the timing was bad, it was a Friday -- and they are offering a fellowship of around $18,000, plus teaching two courses per term after the first year. So financially Fordham is clearly the better offer. But.... I seem to be more on the theory side of things than the historicisit side, and CUNY is academically a much better fit for me. To work with Steve Kruger would be a _dream_, no pun intended. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Tufts is ranked above Michigan, really?! Maybe I really missed out -- I did not apply to Tufts. Hmm.

*reviving this* I don't suppose anyone applying to the Medieval Studies program has heard anything, have they (he/she)?

I'm still waiting as well -- an applicant to the English PhD program.

I can tell you that for the UofT Medieval Studies PhD program, they're going through the applications in three batches, three different weeks. I called the program to ask about their medieval Latin exam, and I was told this information (she recognized my name and knew I was an applicant!).

I remember the coffee house. I would see Goth kids there, and I would see professors there grading papers. While I am actually from there, it took me some time to realize that often smaller cities offer more culture than larger cities.

I'm from Lincoln!

Oh god, I just realized that I just echoed your original post. Although I mean it. Everybody really DOES feel the exact same way! Is it allowed to give a negative point to my own post?

I just want to say, I'm sorry. I'm feeling the exact way right now myself. Saying your fear out loud does help you realize the ridiculousness, though! Imaginations tend to run melodramatic. This is like me at age ten imagining all the people at my funeral saying that they are very, very sorry for talking to me the way that they did.

*breathes* To be honest, a lot of it is just about the waiting game -- already into mid-Feb, and when will I hear back from schools, and will I be accepted? Fear fear fear over a long protracted period of slowly getting nothing but rejections, one after another. I teach community college comp, and this morning I asked my students to open the blinds so that "I can get some serotonin in my brain."When I got home this afternoon, I turned off the engine and stared into the distance for about ten minutes before I finally went inside. Just tired.... I'm a hardcore medievalist--which is why I applied to Fordham--and my numbers are good, and I know that the recommendations I got from the two professors who are most familiar with my most recent work are stellar -- I asked one, can you write me a strong recommendation, and he said, if I were any better, I'd be beyond grad school. So probably a good recommendation.... As for my writing sample, I made a strategic decision. I had two good ones to choose one, but I deliberately went with the one that was the less safe, the more risky, because it excites me more and I want to be in a program that would allow and encourage that sort of work. I actually sent it off to PMLA, and the feedback I got back is that it's not publishable as it is and needs rewritten, but that I absolutely should rewrite because it's a good essay, that I have a sharp sense of the text and the tools to clarify its meaning for other people. So that tells me that 1) I need to continue doing work and improving, but 2) publication in a prestigious journal is actually a realistic goal for me. And that's what I decided to go with for my writing sample for schools, so we'll see if it gets me in anywhere. Regardless of whether I get into a program this year or not, I'm going to continue to do academic work -- which tells me that this is absolutely the right career path for me. And I _could_ handle another year of limbo. But goddamnit, I'm ready to work NOW. A lot of that is my pep talk to myself. I keep swinging back and forth between the absolute certainty that I will get into a program, and the absolute certainty that I will not. It's hard for me to be serene about the process. But let me not forget: Congratulations to you for getting in! I wish you joy and success in everything! Fordham is so pretty.

Let's talk about Fordham. According to the results board, somebody, an internal candidate, was told that Fordham had made its decisions and would send out official letters in two weeks. Is there anybody else who was told they were accepted to Fordham's program? Is Fordham not making phone calls, sending emails, NOTHING? Obviously in a little bit of a panic mode here -- I peruse the forum and results hoping to hear back from one of my schools, but then terrified that if I see one of my schools show up there, that means that I have been left behind.... I only need one acceptance, I have a back up plan, but Jesus on a stick. *is calm and tranquil and accepting of all that comes*

The whole "I'm so much more moody and deep, ergo so much more important than other people" attitude really grates on the nerves, doesn't it?

Well, I'm both going crazy AND finding ways to distract myself. In my off moments I've been reading the Aeneid, book one and now book six, in order to 1) further refine my Latin skills, and 2) increase my familiarity with what was a fundamental text in the Middle Ages. When I'm done with book six, and after I've revised two articles to submit for publication in March, I'd like to read the Divine Comedy in a facing page translation (I know some Italian). Even if I don't get in, I know what things I can do to strengthen my application for next year -- including having a couple of good publications under my belt! *hope* Anyways...... As I read the Aeneid, I can't help but notice patterns. There soooooooo needs to be a drinking game. Every time Juno is angry, take a drink. Every time the Sybil is raging, take a drink. Every time Aeneas is introspectively pondering matters deep within his soul, take a drink. Every time Aeneas' companions are dissed as if they don't matter and are only brought on stage for a little local color, with some striking fire from flint, some grinding corn, and some cutting up the carcass for cooking... take a freaking drink.

I came here specifically to say that I found this journal to be really, really appropriate to my situation right now! http://www.math.pacificu.edu/~emmons/JofUR/

Columbia NYU Harvard WashU Fordham Toronto Indiana Virginia Georgetown Arizona State I'm only halfway done with applications! And I'm re-writing my letter of application each time. Medieval Literature: the marvelous and the fantastic; gender and sexuality; spatiality and temporality; visuality, perception, the imagination. Psychoanalytic theory, unsurprisingly...