EMCOGNITION

Yes, so close but so far. We got this! I'll see you on this god.for.saken thread next year.

Hey, I was dropped from two waitlists yesterday. Straight up, I feel like shit. I was envisioning a future that got destroyed in two emails. Told myself not to hope, but hope is one half of the waitlist equation. how could i not? I'm gonna spend a few days curled up and hopefully emerge with some sense if I wanna put myself through this again next year. Seriously, I need a support group for what that waitlist period inflicted on my nervous system. I feel like I've been a mouse in a cat's mouth for 2 months. These schools are not predatory by any means, but the feelings are the feelings. We were legit braced for months. No advice, just know I feel you. Go shake it out. Scream into the void. try again.

I've been reading posts for months here and finally created an account. Here and on the MFA Draft, I see a lot of poetry and Fiction updates, but not a lot of CNF updates. I am waitlisted at one more school for CNF and I feel like this waiting process has bled me dry, worked me, killed me....ay, yay, yay. And now it's April 15, and I'm dreading the email that begins with the word Unfortunately. I saw two people forgo their admissions to the school I'm waiting on. My heart stopped until I saw they were...fiction, not CNF. And then I made up some fiction that there's some corollary between CNF and fiction admissions. I've been making up lots of stories just to get myself through this. Anyone know why CNF applicants are so quiet on these forums? It feels ridiculous to think that I might have been wringing myself dry for months, meanwhile I was 7th or 8th on a waitlist, and never really had a chance. But who knows right? I want this. The idea of doing it again is not feeling good though.