gallifrey

Thank you for your support and advice, everyone. I actually went out and tried to be more sociable today. Made acquaintances with someone in my major and subfield. (Lucky of me to have met her, considering we might be the only two undergrads studying in said subfield.) Nearly had a bit of a heart attack when I went up and asked the professor a question after class - complete with me stuttering and tripping over my words, as per usual - but I made it through somehow. At least he knows my name now? @ waddle: I am not a STEM major, but nevertheless, I will take you up on that offer. I haven't actually met the professor I'm interested in researching under - this makes it a little easier for me, since my writing skills >>> my people skills - and I'm still sorting my way through the professor's articles, but look for a PM on Monday. (Deadlines at the very least give me something to work towards, and if not now, then never, most probably.) Thank you for your encouragement. On that note, is it considered to be more polite to ask after a research position in the email itself or in person? If the latter, how would I bring it up in the conversation without seeming like I'm just there for my own personal gain? (Well, I am, but that's not the sole reason I'm there?) I understand that some professors expect this and will actually offer students a lab/research job without being pressed, but I'm sure that this will probably not happen in this case. @ natsteel: I worry about going to office hours because I always feel like I'd be wasting the professor's time, though in retrospect, they probably expect questions during office hours. I should probably just stop thinking so much about how I may be perceived and go for the throat. In any case, good luck with your interview. I hope you do well! (Ironically enough, I seem to do well in interviews despite my inability to sometimes form coherent sentences. My shyness apparently comes off as more endearing than awkward at times - I think it has to do with the fact that I look like a 15-year old boy trying to act like a professional - but I figure one of these days it's just not going to work for me. Gotta work on those social skills now.) Again, thank you, everyone.

Hello, all. Undergraduate student here interested in going to grad school. To cut to the chase, I simply don't know how to network or even how to approach professors to ask for LORs or possible research positions. I mean, all right, I understand theoretically how to go about it: Shoot off an email to a professor/potential research adviser introducting myself and saying I'm interested in what he/she is doing, would you like to meet up with me sometime to discuss [iNSERT TOPIC HERE], prepare a few questions, are you willing to take on an undergrad as a research assistant, so on and so forth, yadda yadda ... Unfortunately, my brain likes to balk every time I feel like I'm just about ready to inquire after these positions. Oh, what if the professor says no? What if he/she's busy and gets annoyed? What if I sound like an idiot? What if I run out of questions to ask? Think about the awkward silences ... you know, the usual. I completely freeze up and tell myself that, hey, maybe I can email them next week! There's no hurry to it, right? (All of this exacerbated by the fact that all the people I have emailed re: research and help with the grad school admissions process have not returned my emails. I know it's nothing personal, but still it's a bit of a blow to the ego.) Needless to say, this is a bit of a problem. I need to start working on it, and quickly. Most of it, I believe, boils down to the fact that I simply don't know how to interact with authority figures. I mean, I do well in class, but that's about it. I don't go to office hours - it's not that I don't have questions; it's that I feel my questions are better directed to the TAs (after all, that's what they're there for), and I don't want to waste a professor's time with trivial questions that I can most likely figure out on my own by doing some digging on the internet - and I just ... I don't know. I'm soft-spoken, shy, reserved, and generally awkward with people I don't know well. It's bad enough with simple strangers (even those I consider my peers); it's even worse with people with big names in my field. I'm so afraid of making a bad impression that I settle for making no impression at all. I am absolutely abysmal with making small talk. Sometimes it's like watching a train slowly dive off a cliff into the Grand Canyon. (Lots of echoing going on with me repeating what the other person says!) Again, intellectually, I know how to make small talk, but it just doesn't work for me. I'm not sure why. I suppose at this point I should probably pick up Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends & Influence People." Other than that ... any other advice/support will be very much appreciated. Thanks. tl;dr - I don't communicate well with others and especially professors. How can I possibly go about fixing this?