Euthus

I KNOW! I'm mostly depressed about having to leave them. They've become such a wonderful community to be with. I'm really worried about being able to form that same sense of community elsewhere. They're my academic/psychological/emotional support system. I swear, one of my profs is becoming my life coach.

I heard about my rejection from Notre Dame early because my undergrad advisor got an email from the department where I applied (Early Christian Studies), since he is good friends with the director of the program. He broke the news to me RIGHT after I spilled my guts about determining that my formerly top #1 choice "no longer felt right for me." GAH. I took it quietly in his office and then took my other prof's dogs for a walk around campus (Departmental Assistant and glorified dog walker, all in one!). I really didn't feel the "slump" until later that night. I skipped my late class, then dove into a Hume vs. Kant paper (GREAT distraction, btw). I cried on the way home while driving (which is not safe), but realized how supportive my current department is, and felt a little better. Everyone has been offering me "don't take it personally" advice for two days, so it's starting to get old already -.- That whiskey sour before bed really kept me from dwelling on it too much SimilarlyDifferent, I feel the EXACT same way -- "I will feel that all of the accomplishments, awards, honors, and hard work I've gone through have not, in fact, paid off. " Thankfully, a few of the professors I respect most sat down with me and ran through the long lists of their own past rejections, so I didn't feel as bad (maybe just a little).