Lucky2431

I'm doing a developmental Ph.D. I don't see why disclosing the program is particularly beneficial to myself and the person that asked. Thanks so far everyone. The lab doesn't do night duty. It is a social science lab with a focus on assessment. We aren't running daily experiments and are only focusing on one prolonged study. The grad students in the program let me know about the Saturdays. They said during peak data collection you are there for a few hours on Saturday. When data collection isn't going on no one comes in. My SO will be visiting me a couple times a month. Splitting the travel throughout the month seems fair and realistic. Also, factoring in academic breaks and summers I am not banking on this being too much of a strain only being 95 minutes from my SO. Like I said my family is back home too, so getting there 2 times a month will keep me charged up! I was thinking when I register for classes sitting down with my advisor and just having an open discussion about it. I think if this person knows that this one thing is really important to me at the onset than it will mitigate a lot of potential issues. I'll get shit done during the week without question, and I won't be asking for Saturdays off when no one else gets them. I was more concerned about the mindset I have going in that was on the lines of, "if this sucks and I am miserable I am peacing out of the program with zero qualms about my personal happiness." I guess as school approaches I feel like I am mentally way over prepared for grad school or just lack that sense of "this will make me" that most people here seem to have.

So I'm in. I was admitted to my top Ph.D. program with full funding and enough of a stipend to support my living expenses. I feel partially excited to begin this whole process, but lately I've wondered if my thinking is a little out of whack. First thought: "Getting a Ph.D. doesn't define me. I've been resourceful without it and I will continue to be that person." Second thought: "How great- I get a 2 year trial run to see if I like this grad school thing. I need to get my MA en-route, and if I don't file the paper work to continue onto a Ph.D. I can leave with the MA and no debt! it isn't like I won't be working very hard for my advisor for the first 2 years. Also, will that person really want me there if I am not in it 100%?" Are these thoughts strange? It's keeping me really optimistic about this whole process. The research in my lab is pretty fantastic. There isn't a big push on publication, it is more of an applied-based track with a focus on assessment. No need to fuss over results not coming out correct every week, etc. In fact, I almost feel like the research where I am going will be easier than what I did in undergrad. On that front I'm not concerned. The only reservation I have about grad school is how honest I should be with my advisor. The lab I am working in has meeting some Saturdays when data collection is up and running. I'd like to see my significant other, who will be living 95 minutes away, every couple of weeks by traveling there on the weekends. My family also lives near to her, and we are all very close. Interfering with those relationships will be the one thing that makes walk from a lab and grad school. I think if I can sustain this, realizing upfront that I will be busy and need to get much work done during the week, than I will be a pretty happy trooper. Should I just be upfront and ask on what weeks we will be doing Saturday work and state my reason above for asking as a way to define my boundaries early on? Say I have a long term thing back home, etc? After all, I'm only being paid for 20 hours of work. I expect at times when things are busy that I will do more, but that in times of relative calm it should work the other way a bit, no? I know I am all over the place, but is my head in the right space here?