Alright, I have some questions. I am struggling with the idea of whether or not to apply for a doctorate program in the Chicago area. I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post this in, but what the heck!? I have several reservations and I was hoping to get some feedback and advice. Anything would be tremendously appreciated!!
First of all, it is my DREAM to get my doctorate (either Ph.D. or Psy.D. I don't care!) in clinical psychology. This field is my passion and I want to learn as much as I can about it! I am most interested in the therapeutic process and relationship as well as family roles and birth order in substance abusing families. I have yet to do any formal research on these topics, but I would love to! Which leads me to my first reservation: I don't know where to begin with the research process. I am too timid and self-conscious to ask my professors for advice or to have them sponsor me in my research endeavors...I know that's my issue to deal with but I just want to be 100% confident in myself that I can do it (or if I should).
Allow me give some background information...I am currently in a Masters program in counseling psychology. I expect to graduate December 2009. I have a 4.0 GPA at the moment. I am at the same institution where I did my undergraduate work. I did not apply to doctoral level graduate programs as an undergrad because I was always just a day late and dollar short of figuring out what I wanted to do and I felt that I didn't have the grades or the credentials necessary to get in. I earned a 3.4 cumulative GPA (i had one absolutely lousy semester that screwed it up). I was on the Dean's List every semester (except the one, obviously), I'm a member of Psi Chi (and was secretary for 1 year), was a part of the psychology club, along with many other clubs and activities. I have only done research projects for class in groups and have never presented at a conference or been published. Can I even apply to graduate programs without any of this under my belt? Do I have any chance of getting into a competetive program?
My second reservation is that I am terrified to take the GRE. I am awful at standardized testing and really have a lot of anxiety and I put so much pressure on myself to do well. I took the ACT 3 times and BARELY even got into college because of my scores. (I was accepted on a conditional basis and was required to see academic counselors and take the "academic success skills" and "study skills" classes-hmph!) After my first sememster I got a 3.3 GPA and my counselor was like, "What are you doing in this program?" I didn't even score in the normal range for the ACT-I got an 18, 19, and 16 out of 36. I was MORTIFIED! And I'm afraid that the same thing will happen again on the GRE.
If I decide to go for this 'gung ho' then I already have a plethora of study materials and plan to take a prep class before the actual test. But I just wanted to lay all of this out there in mystery-internet-land in the hopes that someone who knows about graduate school admission could give me the thumbs-up or thumbs-down or any pointers or words of wisdom.
If you haven't already noticed, I lack the self-confidence and courage to ask for advice from professors and counselors etc. I have a terrible fear that they already think I can't do it, don't have the time to talk to me, or expect me to already know what I need to do. Time is running out for me (since I graduate in less than a year and only have until about October to ask for recommendations--build up the courage to even ask for them! and it takes a lot of time to prepare and plan and save money for everything.) and if I decide to do this, I want to do it right.
Can anybody help?
Thanks a million!
