My husband and I were engaged when we first started looking at graduate schools. I was looking for an MA program in music and he was looking to enter law school. We applied to Tufts/Harvard, UPenn/Upenn, Yale/Wesleyan, and a few other places. We each got into the programs but decided on the place that gave me a complete funding package.
Separating was not really an option as we were planning to get married after our first year of graduate school. It has been a few years and now he has several law firm offers and I am applying for graduate school again. He has offers in Chicgo, Boston, and DC so my school choices were limited to those areas.
We have both compromised quite a bit and it really has worked out well for us. He probably would have liked to go to Yale Law and I would have liked to attend SOAS in London, but we knew our relationship was a priority so we chose Cambridge.
Now we are planning to have a beautiful Jewish family and our newest concern is how we can make all of this work. YIKES!!
It is nice to know other graduate students are in this situation. Life can't stop because you want to continue with your education.