notgoingwell

Just curious what the class is your taking. I'm going to start my PhD in mathematics soon, and if it's theoretical math, maybe I can help a bit. Those classes are really confusing when you first encounter them, so don't feel alone in that sentiment. Personally I never got anything from lectures in pure math courses (and still don't), I learn from the books. Some books are fantastic but others are very difficult. If you let me know the class maybe I can recommend some good texts to study from as well. But personally, I would try my hardest to understand and pass. I think almost any pure math course, even if you leave it feeling like you didn't learn crap, is useful to take if only because you really begin to challenge your mind and your conventional way of thinking. You won't even realize it until later on, but studying these sort of courses really re shapes the way you think!

Even I am first generation. Went to an inner city school. I started at a community college. I lived in somebody's garage back then, no heat, no lights, just had me and my dog. I used to walk a mile to the school every day, rain or shine. I was actually living in the projects when I got my first scholarship for undergrad. I can't believe that is so far behind me now (I'm finishing my masters degree this semester, and on to PhD!) Congrats to other low income students and to all students in general! Education is the key to change in society, I truly believe that now

thanks. I really don't want him to give me ideas or to hand hold like you said, I really don't. My goal coming into this program was to make my own contribution. You are right I think he is frustrated that I give up. I think I should have actually just left this program long back. I absolutely hate the field I discovered, and so it's just torture to come up with ideas. I just have absolutely no interest. I just want to get done and head back to math. Thanks for all the advice, it has really helped me. I feel bad for saying bad about my prof, as I don't want to give any ill impression on him. I was just frustrated

This is actually what I thought for quite some time, and I still do think this as well. I think the problem is the subfield of CS we are working in is kind of specialized. I do read through the journals, and I do come up with ideas, and I get them started, but then I feel like I don't really know where to go with it, or I am not sure it's significant enough, etc. so I just abandon the idea entirely. I think the only real thing I want from him is just the insight into our field, like saying "this is useful" or "why not take it in this direction" or "why not explore this". I don't want him to outright give me a research idea, I just want some direction. And I know he can give it, because the few times we meet it helps tremendously. I will also admit though that, yeah, I have absolutely no interest in this particular field. I didn't realize it until I began my graduate program. I really despise it, so actually combing through journals is like pulling teeth for me. The results bore me, the whole damn field bores me. It's really hard for me to just so excited about it that I can come up with all these brilliant ideas. I think the research I worked on before, I was so passionate about it, so it was a different story. Anyway, that's why I'm leaving this field and going back to mathematics to pursue my PhD there. And I would completely understand him never having any time to spare if it were actually the case. That's really the only thing that makes it frustrating to work for him. He only has one student that works under him. He cancels class constantly, I've been in his classes where he cuts nearly one class a week. I just don't get what he does with his time. On the rare times he comes to meet me or the PhD student, usually he just ends up shooting the shit for an hour and a half, telling stories, etc. then after going on for about an hour, he looks at his watch and says "oh hey I gotta go!!!" Like I said, a great friend, but not what I want in an adviser I think. I swear, he will say he has no time to meet with me or the PhD student, but if I ask to go play tennis he'll do it at the drop of a dime. I don't get it But again I am kind of confused. So are thesis ideas usually completely from the student themselves? Do the professors usually help in making the ideas? I have no idea. That's one of the reasons I wanted to come on here was to find out. And it seems there is still some varying opinion on this :/ EDIT: Also, I didn't mean to write any of these posts to say anything bad about my prof. LIke I said he's a dear friend and a brilliant scientist. But his constant criticism is definitely aggitating, as well as the complete inability to meet with him ever.

Hey thanks both of you for the advice. I think I am going to switch advisers. I didn't want to do this because I thought it would be kind of disloyal, but I really have no other options. If my friends are real friends, they will understand me. If not, I guess better to find out anyhow!!! thanks for letting me come on here and blow off some steam, it helped so much! EDIT: I actually feel worse for my friend, the only PhD student working with him. She left her entire family, culture, country behind to come and study with him. A year later and she has nothing to show with it. They never meet, they never work. She requested him at the beginning of the semester, can they please meet at least once a week. Nothing. I feel really bad for her because she gave up literally everything to come to this country and I want things to work well for her. I don't think he realizes this impacts people I dunno.

First off, I want to say thank you so much for this reply. It is like a breath of fresh air. You don't know how much of a failure I have felt like because I haven't been able to complete this thesis project. I have worked so hard with no results. I am really happy to know it is normal for your advisor to get the basic ideas EDIT: I am sorry this response is very long Actually, I have a feeling this is the case. But I don't agree with him. See, he takes issue with the way I learn. I pretty much learn independently, by reading books. Throughout my undergrad career I rarely attended lectures. I didn't do it as disrespect, I am just very ADD and can't concentrate on people speaking to me. I have to read to learn. I think he thinks because of that I can never accomplish anything. I believed him for awhile, but I just don't believe him anymore. I think he is saying this as my friend, but I don't think he knows. I believe I can succeed. He is actually older and very accomplished in his field. He has so many publications it's insane. I think maybe he has just past his peek and doesn't want to work as much anymore. He only treats me like this and so I wonder if he just wants me to do really good. He thinks I should be able to figure it all out on my own and I shouldn't need any help, because this is how he did it. I know it's weird we are in the same social circles, it just happened. We are in the same international community, and it is a small community. He is a very good friend and is the one who got me accepted, got me funding initially, etc. Outside of class he is really nice and a joy to be around, as an adviser yeah I can't stand working with him anymore. No body wants to work with him anymore really for this reason. You have to beg the man to meet with him once a month, but if I were to ask him to go play tennis with me or if all of us friends have a get together, he will be there in an instant. So I know he is not truly spent on time, he just very much divides his personal life and professional life. It's so disapointing to me because he really is so accomplished, and has so much to teach. He is a really brilliant scientist and a very accomplished researcher, and I wish so badly I could be taught by him. I guess this is my problem. This is exactly what I would do if he weren't my friend. But I would feel I am really double crossing him to do this. I swear I am not trying to disregard yours or anyone else's advice, but that is exactly what is making this situation so weird/hard for me. This man is a close friend, and not only is he a close friend, but all of my other close friends are close friends with him (we are all in the same social circle as I said and it is very tight knit). It would really wreck not only y friendship with him, but pretty much every close friendship in my life. He is a shitty adviser, I realize now, but he has done so much for me. I have never found myself in a situation like this before. i feel he is being really biased against me and doesn't realize it. The PhD student who works under him, (she is also in our "group" and a close friend), says that to me he is very biased on me and is not sure why. I can't understand this situation For example, in a class he taught, there were 5 students in that class. He gave everyone an A except he gave me a B. I have no idea why really, and he tells me I'm lucky I got that instead of a C. He really has this impression as though I don't work I guess because I can't pay attention in class. It's not something I do on purpose, I just literally can't do it. I have tried for years, and that's why I learned to teach myself from books. In that particular class, I worked just as hard if not harder than everyone else. I am still annoyed over that situation. But I don't think he's doing it to be a dick, I think he just really doesn't see how hard I am working. Another problem is that I am not well spoken at all. I have a very difficult time "translating" the thoughts in my mind to spoken words, so I often sound very stupid/like I don't know what I'm talking about when giving presentations/talking with people. I don't know why it is this way for me, but it's like a part of my brain short circuits and I can't communicate thoughts that are perfectly clear in my mind. I can't blame anyone else for not understanding this, I guess. It probably appears like I don't know shit all and I haven't done any work I hope I didn't seem annoying in my post or like I was disregarding what you have had to say. I am just trying to explain a bit more how this is a tad difficult situation.

I am having a problem. I began grad school a year and a half back, my entire goal was to do a thesis and publish in a conference/journal. I come from mathematics and was doing my MS in CS so it was a switch for me. Started working with my advisor, he is the mentor that really got me into computer science, and I consider him a good friend as well Problem is that I was really not familiar enough with the field we were working in to come up with good ideas on my own. I would come up with a thesis idea, I would realize it was no good. This went on over and over. I kept trying to meet with my prof, but he is so busy that maybe we would meet once a month, at most. He started coming down really hard on me, telling me I can never do research, I will never do anything but I am getting nothing done. I keep asking him, can we meet more? I need help understanding how to do research in this field, etc. He says you can't teach that. I believe him, but, can't he help me learn anything? For example, on the rare occasion we meet he might mention something that was very useful. He has a wealth of knowledge in our field. Now I am supposed to graduate, and I don't have anything for a thesis. I just can't come up with good ideas. He is emailed me yesterday and said I need to talk with the advisor for our graduate program so I can switch my thesis credits to independent study. I told him, I am willing to stay longer, without funding, etc., just to do more research, as this is my goal. He emailed me back and said he doesn't believe I can do it and doesn't think I can make a quality thesis. Honestly this has gotten me so down. Isn't your advisor supposed to help you at all? Can't they give you even small ideas for research? I really came into computer science knowing literally nothing. And our field is very specialized and I knew nothing about that. I have learned a lot about it, but I feel like I need a leg up and just some guidance. He says all these things about me, but I did research in another department for two years with no problem. I am really sad and really down on this now. I am not sure what to do because this professor is a friend of mine, as we have the same social circle and socialize quite a bit outside of class. Yes I realize I might suck at research and I realize I don't have a lot of brilliant ideas, and forever I had just given up on myself because of that. But I also thing he might have something to do with it. For example, I can never EVER meet with him, I wait for an entire month to meet with him and tell him my ideas, etc. Usually he will stay and just lecture me the whole time about how I suck at research, and nothing gets done. I hoped in graduate school to get a mentor who would help me become a good researcher. Should I have just done this all solo? If so, what is even the point of having a research advisor for a thesis? I am so confused More than that he just is so depressing on me. I am applying for a PhD program in mathematics because I am just sick of CS at this point, and he just tells me I won't succeed.