Hahaha...Nicole, the things you've been saying is like I am listening to myself over and over again. It is definitely nice to know that we are not out there alone in this mess...this forum helped me a lot too to relieve the anxiety and horrible wait.
I went to SUNY Upstate so we kind of share the same background :-) NY is the sh$t :-)))
I just graduated and I was very busy in my final semesters and had a lot of responsabilities + academic job so I almost lost any hope in getting in grad school for this year. I just didnt have any time whatsoever to study for gre, organize applications, call this, call that...etc. Buried in my studies, literally.
But then I got a chance of getting admitted into this biochemistry grad program and I did all in my power to secure everything that was necessary. So it is only one school in my case as well, I haven't applied anywhere else.
The thing with me is that I made it into supposedly very limited pool of applicants and I was granted an interview. So I flew over there and I think I did a good job of representing myself, I liked the professors and general environment was very appealing and nice to me. It also seemed that some of the professors had a "thing" for me considering that I was doing some research that was very specific to the type of research that they do. But in my later correspondence some of them replied to my messages, some have not and others stated that right now they are really busy but that they would love to have me in the future. I don't know, could be a double edge sword, the more I think about it, the less I know lol It is weird.
God knows how many times I have analyzed things in my head, thinking what did I say, what I could've/should've said, did I make this right or wrong, could I do it other ways etc. It is something that is constantly there and the more I analyze, the more confusing it gets. So I just try to keep an open mind and be ready to embrace any possibility although,knowing my very driven mentality and stubbornness, whatever the outcome, my reaction to it will be pretty strong. Thats how my personality is...I'm just a very competitive as a person and as an athlete and I take my successes and failures very emotionally and with a lot of sentiment. I've had some great moments so far in my life and I also took some horrible blows at times, so I will be able to internalize it somehow, like I always did in the past.
I just hope for both of us that they don't keep us on fire for too long and I wish you all the peace of mind and strength in this world to lessen your anxiety and wait, and I hope for the best outcome!!!
God bless.