flosincapite

I am in quite a conundrum, and I was hoping that you of thegradcafe's forums might help. I received a B.A. from Duke University last year, majoring in English and Classical Languages. I am now in an M.A./ Ph.D. program in Comparative Literature; the plan was for me to be a professor. It has taken me perhaps too long to realize that I find the humanities to be little more than a worthless curiosity: pleasurable, but not worth diligent study. I am interested in artificial intelligence, particularly the field of natural language processing. I have learned C++ on my own and kept up with math, but I haven't done coursework in CS or math for a while. Essentially, I meet none of the qualifying criteria for any CS program, let alone one at a top school. Therefore, I would like any and all advice you have on how I should proceed. My eventual goal is to receive a Ph.D. in CS from a respectable university. What should my next step be? Do I try a certificate program? Second bachelor's? How do I fund such endeavors? Many thanks for any advice you can give.