presque_partout

I'd suggest Durham if your partner is going to Duke. Chapel Hill/Carrboro is a very nice place to live, but you'll eventually feel the smallness of those two towns. I'm still at UNC, and I live in Durham. I don't commute to campus very often, since I'm barely on campus. But the commute isn't bad. There are bus options between Durham and Chapel Hill, either Triangle Transit or Robertson Scholars. The latter is a bus line that runs exclusively between UNC and Duke, and is free for Duke and UNC students. You can also drive part of the way to a park-and-ride lot, and then take Chapel Hill Transit, a free line that runs throughout Chapel Hill and Carrboro. Duke has their own bus line that will take around campus, but not much beyond. There's also the free Bull City Connector, which runs between Duke's campus, through downtown, to East Durham. As for where to live in Durham, there are plenty of apartment complexes near Duke's campus, if that's what you want, generally around Erwin road. But if you want a house, I'd check out the following neighborhoods: Lakewood (parts of this neighborhood, at least), Old West, Watts-Hillendale, or Trinity Park. These are all relatively close to Duke's campus, though the rental market is very competitive. If you're willing to be a little further from Duke's campus, I'd recommend Northgate Park, Duke Park, Old East, or Cleveland-Holloway. The last two are probably the least gentrified of what I have mentioned, and are generally going to be cheaper. If you do decide on Chapel Hill/Carrboro, I'd suggest going with Carrboro. You can find a great place to live in Chapel Hill, but you're probably going to be living near a lot of undergrads. Carrboro's vibe isn't for everyone, but you're generally going to be living around a more age appropriate crowd. As long as you avoid apartment complexes, you will generally be within walking/biking distance of things to do, either in Durham or Chapel Hill/Carrboro. Durham is more spread out, but that's because it is also bigger. So if you live in Durham, you will drive more often within Durham. But if you live in Chapel Hill/Carrboro, you will find yourself driving to Durham, Raleigh, etc. more often.

for those debating durham v. carrboro/chapel hill, i'd highly recommend staying near campus for your first year. the drive between the two areas isn't particularly pleasant unless you take the backroads (and not suggested if you are in a hurry). and while there are busses between duke/durham and unc, it's not the most convenient mode of transportation. longterm, i think durham is probably the best place to live in the triangle, but probably not ideal for first year unc grad students. for those debating chapel hill v. carrboro, i'd highly recommend carrboro. many of the living situations a person just moving to the area could expect in chapel hill are either in areas dominated by undergrads or in the apartment complexes (all of which are equally as far from campus as most parts of carrboro). on the other hand, most of carrboro's complexes are relatively nice, easily accessible, and mostly on a convenient bus line. additionally, if you scour craigslist, you can sometimes find an affordable two bedroom close to downtown carrboro (affordable for two people). on the bus line note, before committing to an apartment, check out what bus line it is on. not all routes are created equal. for example, in carrboro, there are three lines (J, CW, and F), and only the J runs consistently into the night and over the weekend, and the F line runs the least frequent.

the robertson scholars bus runs between duke and unc's campus every thirty minutes, and it's free. once in chapel hill, you can take chapel hill transit nearly anywhere in chapel hill/carrboro. that said, every time i go to duke or durham, i drive. you could bike between durham and chapel hill/carrboro, and some people do. a fair amount of bikers use erwin road, though it's rather hilly and barely has a shoulder, so that ~15 mile ride isn't for novice cyclists.

you can bike around durham, but it's not particularly fun, especially near duke and getting over to north durham. many roads in downtown durham do not have bike lanes, nor are the shoulders wide. as well, durham's rather hilly. in general, even for duke students, i'd recommend only living in durham if you're coupled off. there's plenty to do there, especially food-wise, but when it comes to general nightlife and accessibility, carrboro/chapel hill offers better options (though not more). i know of several duke grad students who live in carrboro, and commute to duke (though they are third years+).