BellatrixLestrange

Thank you all SO, so much for your encouragement. I have decided that I am going to accept this offer and am feeling optimistic about the future! And if all else fails, home will always be here So glad I came on this board. Take care.

I'm a 22 year old undergrad at a university in Florida right now. I applied to 10 clinical PhD programs. When I applied, I knew my GRE score was low and I have no publications and not that great of research experience so I considered myself to be not too strong of an applicant, but I applied anyway just "because". I had ZERO expectations to get in anywhere. In fact, I had already started applying to jobs here so I could work for a few years. I was okay with that, I took comfort in it actually. I thought it would give me a break from school and prepare me to re-apply in a couple of years. But then... I got into a program. I went on the interview, loved the faculty and lab members, liked the campus and the area, really liked the overall "feel" and the work that I would be doing. And I got in. Naturally I was really excited and in complete shock that I actually got accepted - little old me! I didn't get in anywhere else. After a few days the excitement when away and I'm now terrified. As I sit here for the last 2 weeks delaying giving them an official answer...I. Am. Freaking. Out. And here's why: - The program is in Michigan, more than a 20 hour drive from home. My undergrad is only 1.5 hours from my hometown. I have NEVER been so far from my friends, my family, and my boyfriend. If I'm ever homesick or just need to be with them, I can basically go whenever. 20 hours is a little less doable. -I mentioned I'm from Florida. I've never lived in cold. Actually, I've never lived below 40 degrees, really, save a few freak cold fronts. Sure the cold and snow is beautiful to visit for a few days, but I have no idea how I'd deal with that...certainly I don't have the proper attire and I feel cold just thinking about it. -I find myself asking myself over and over: can I REALLY handle this program? Am I really ready? I'm a great student but that doesn't mean I will make a great grad student. The whole thing is really intimidating and scary right now. I'm doubting my abilities. Grad school is hard. Being away from everything I've ever known and loved is going to make it that much harder. I don't feel like i'm ready to basically leave my life behind and start a completely new, very difficult kind of schoooling in a totally new town (it's in a VERY small town and I'm from a BIG city), in different weather, in what may as well be a different planet from all that I know and am comfortable with. I realize this post may come off as me lacking maturity, and I'll be the first to agree 100% I'm being immature about this. But the truth is, I'm TERRIFIED. And I'm not sure that that's normal... But what will I do if I don't accept this offer? Besides being judged by everyone and their mothers, of course. I'll be that girl that passed up the opportunity for a great PhD program because I was too scared. Obviously it is very hard to get into these programs, who is to say it won't be just as hard if not harder if I chose to re-apply in a few years? I probably wouldn't have a much bigger chance of getting accepted to a school any closer either. What do I do here? Am I psyching myself out and being crazy about this? Please, someone, anyone - help.