So I gave in and emailed admissions. For anyone else who's still waiting, here's the response I received:
"I am very sorry the process is taking so long for you. We try to get our decisions out faster - but are subject to the pace of the faculty readers and sometimes it takes longer than we would like. Yours should be complete very soon. We hope to have all Full Time decisions out by the end of April if not sooner."
Likewise. My application was submitted on the 6th, complete on the 9th and the online application status still reads "Your application is complete and sent to the Faculty Review Committee for review." I hope we hear back soon! At this point, I don't care what the news is either way. I'm just dying for a response!