Critique my SOP for Data science masters degree

[masters_gmat]

Hi all,

I am planning to apply for three online degree programs this year - Georgia Tech's OMSCS, OMSA and UIUC's MCS-DS. I am not sure how many of you are aware of UIUC MCS-DS but here are the details if someone is interested : https://cs.illinois.edu/academics/graduate/professional-mcs-program/mcs-data-science-track

I am applying for the MCS DS program this Summer 2018 and need your help to critique my SOP. Here is my SOP with the background details. Thank you so much for your attention and review : https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nhm8yWc4k5U4s3G1jZv_OZm0SwDVrG0xHsID4QYBCyA/edit?usp=sharing

Edited January 25, 2018 by masters_gmat
precise Title name