Let's talk rejections and moving on!

[anthrosalts]

I thought for quite some time before deciding to finally post this thread, as I thought it would be (hopefully) beneficial to those needing somewhere to give a little rant, vent their disappointments, and ultimately, offer a safe and protected space where those of us could get a little encouragement after receiving unfavourable decisions, or perhaps, rejected in this cycle. 

Without ado, here I go! 

I'm a fresh graduate straight out with a BA (SocSci) from a leading university in Asia, and its my first time applying to do a PhD in Anthropology in the States. I graduated as the top student of my cohort, and thought I would stand a pretty alright chance at this shot. Perhaps too ambitiously, I shot for the biggest names like Yale, Harvard, Berkeley, UCLA, Stanford etc; and henceforth I have already received my 5th rejection out of the total 9 applications I made. 

Initially I was really afraid and couldn't bring myself to accept rejection as I couldn't quite believe I didn't manage to hear from SOMEwhere from the 9 schools I applied to?! But seems like 9 schools aren't that many to start off in first place... Over time, I think I have slowly gotten used to rejections, but it still scares me to fathom what I'll do in the upcoming days not studying. 

Still I'm thankful to the invaluable advices I have received from this forum, and am planning to fill my time with more productive things instead of bumming around everyday drowning in anxiety and apprehension unable to do life. I think I have come to a point in life where I am simply sick of waiting for uncertainties, and want to do something more certain that will make me a more useful person  rejections are indeed so painful, but I have learnt that so many things can't be forced and are out of my control, and I can always try again next cycle!

Hopefully someone reading this will feel better knowing we share the same predicament! Anyone cares to share their stories and let out some frustrations? 

[telesto]

Hey, I hear you. I'm also trying to prepare for rejections. I haven't got any formal rejections or acceptances at this point but considering the timeframe and lack of interview requests I fear that all of them would be rejections. I don't know where you're from in Asia, but I'm currently based in Hong Kong. I also feel like I was a bit too ambitious, applying to Berkeley, Columbia, NYU, Brown, MIT.  I only applied to 6 schools though (2 depts in NYU). Being an international too, I feel I can relate to you, though I'm not a fresh BA grad (I did an MPhil).

Uncertainty of academia is always something that makes me hesitate. I have many friends who are PhD students, grads, new assistant professors. Even a tenure-track assistant professor position is still very unstable since you need to be ready for reviews every few years. Let's say I do get into a US PhD programme, in Anthropology I'd be looking at 7-8 years.. and then probably need to do a post-doc which is another painful process of applying, waiting, getting accepted/rejected... after 1-2 years of post-doc you finally look for a tenure-track or whatever teaching position which at best gives you a contract of 5 years or something (I'm not sure about the US but it's like that in HK). All this time, your friends will be progressing through their careers, having a stable job, etc. (let's hope, though our generation doesn't have it so easy). People have told me exactly this a few years back, and I couldn't sympathise, but now, turning 26 next week, I feel this... 

So my plan is to apply for Australian schools in the summer (Aus PhDs are also a lot shorter 3.5-4yrs) and if I don't get in, I'll get a job, and maybe try again next year (or not).

Australia seems to be a nicer place to live in as well. What's your reason for applying to US schools?

[tamaloo]

Hey, I'm 30 and just got accepted to a couple of "top schools" in the US. I'm from South Asia, and have been the top my of my class through my undergrad, MA and MPhil. The first time I applied to grad schools abroad five years ago, I did it because I thought it was obvious that I had to. I applied to some big names, and to some not so big ones. I got rejected out of every single one. It was very difficult for me to accept, and I had a tough time battling with the constant self-doubt and anxiety that came with it.

I already had an offer from a top school here so I stuck to it. Academia everywhere is very hard, and given my mental health issues at that time, I really struggled to work my way through a PhD. I quit within the year and vowed never to come back to academics.

I continued to work on what I wanted to, though - I found different ways to do it. I ended up working with some amazing people and organisations, and had an extremely inspiring journey. By a strange turn of events, I found myself teaching and doing academic research at another top school in the country.

At the end of that year, I realised I wanted to apply again. I found my love for a subject I had never dipped my toes into (I was a gender studies student previously) and I was absolutely dreading it. I very carefully curated the list of schools I applied to - I only applied to people and departments that were doing the kind of work I wanted to; that had the same kind of politics I believed in. I told myself that if I had to go that far and start afresh, it would have to be because I really wanted it - not because it was something my career path demanded.

In spite of my excellent record, relevant experience and multiple academic publications over 6 years, I only heard from 2 of the six places I applied to. 

What I'm trying to say is - the most important thing is you, your work and going to a place that will make you happy. It may be a PhD, it may not. Don't let an acceptance or rejection from a grad school measure your worth. 

[anthrosalts]

11 hours ago, telesto said:

Hey, I hear you. I'm also trying to prepare for rejections. I haven't got any formal rejections or acceptances at this point but considering the timeframe and lack of interview requests I fear that all of them would be rejections. I don't know where you're from in Asia, but I'm currently based in Hong Kong. I also feel like I was a bit too ambitious, applying to Berkeley, Columbia, NYU, Brown, MIT.  I only applied to 6 schools though (2 depts in NYU). Being an international too, I feel I can relate to you, though I'm not a fresh BA grad (I did an MPhil).

Uncertainty of academia is always something that makes me hesitate. I have many friends who are PhD students, grads, new assistant professors. Even a tenure-track assistant professor position is still very unstable since you need to be ready for reviews every few years. Let's say I do get into a US PhD programme, in Anthropology I'd be looking at 7-8 years.. and then probably need to do a post-doc which is another painful process of applying, waiting, getting accepted/rejected... after 1-2 years of post-doc you finally look for a tenure-track or whatever teaching position which at best gives you a contract of 5 years or something (I'm not sure about the US but it's like that in HK). All this time, your friends will be progressing through their careers, having a stable job, etc. (let's hope, though our generation doesn't have it so easy). People have told me exactly this a few years back, and I couldn't sympathise, but now, turning 26 next week, I feel this... 

So my plan is to apply for Australian schools in the summer (Aus PhDs are also a lot shorter 3.5-4yrs) and if I don't get in, I'll get a job, and maybe try again next year (or not).

Australia seems to be a nicer place to live in as well. What's your reason for applying to US schools?

Thank you for sharing and being there  

I suppose its somewhat known that the best education systems globally still reside in the US, and needless to mention, their funding and support are relatively incompatible (especially for the ivfies) elsewhere in the world - where we still have to apply for separate funding, fellowships, scholarships etc. Personally, I wanted to obtain the 'best' education experience in a field where I am passionate about, and in the region where I'm currently based, there is just literally no field/market for Anthropology. Anthropology is not a 'thing' here (people haven't even heard of it before!), but I find it so compelling, relevant and interesting! This hence drives me to seek educational opportunities in the US, where they are in abundance (but of course, suuuuper competitive)

Besides, I've always been an adventurous soul, and would pretty much love to experience life in the States after seeing all those Hollywood blockbusters glamorising life over there. I've also had friends who've moved to US for various reasons, and according to them, life is comparatively more relaxed than where I am now. Guess my soul just needs a change of environment whilst doing something that still impassions me endlessly. 

Which schools are you looking at in Australia? 

[anthrosalts]

6 hours ago, tamaloo said:

Hey, I'm 30 and just got accepted to a couple of "top schools" in the US. I'm from South Asia, and have been the top my of my class through my undergrad, MA and MPhil. The first time I applied to grad schools abroad five years ago, I did it because I thought it was obvious that I had to. I applied to some big names, and to some not so big ones. I got rejected out of every single one. It was very difficult for me to accept, and I had a tough time battling with the constant self-doubt and anxiety that came with it.

I already had an offer from a top school here so I stuck to it. Academia everywhere is very hard, and given my mental health issues at that time, I really struggled to work my way through a PhD. I quit within the year and vowed never to come back to academics.

I continued to work on what I wanted to, though - I found different ways to do it. I ended up working with some amazing people and organisations, and had an extremely inspiring journey. By a strange turn of events, I found myself teaching and doing academic research at another top school in the country.

At the end of that year, I realised I wanted to apply again. I found my love for a subject I had never dipped my toes into (I was a gender studies student previously) and I was absolutely dreading it. I very carefully curated the list of schools I applied to - I only applied to people and departments that were doing the kind of work I wanted to; that had the same kind of politics I believed in. I told myself that if I had to go that far and start afresh, it would have to be because I really wanted it - not because it was something my career path demanded.

In spite of my excellent record, relevant experience and multiple academic publications over 6 years, I only heard from 2 of the six places I applied to. 

What I'm trying to say is - the most important thing is you, your work and going to a place that will make you happy. It may be a PhD, it may not. Don't let an acceptance or rejection from a grad school measure your worth. 

This just made me teared up, thank you for your inspirational story!!!

Your spirit and tenacity just come through so beautifully in your words, and I can only imagine how much of a fighter you have been hence far. So happy for your results today, totally deserving of every bit! I guess the biggest thing now is really battling with the self-doubts, inferiority and insecurity of everything. Honestly, I do feel like a wreck currently as I lack motivation for anything. When the applications were over, I told myself I deserved a 'good break'. And when the rejections came tumbling back, my 'break' slowly turned into one of despondence and dejection as I've just been wasting my time away idling, sleeping, eating or checking the portal. 

I constantly feel so inadequate and lacking at things, though I know I have to turn that around. Oh well, hoping I can snap out of this soon and fix my life because life has to GO ON and I grow after all these.

Thank you so much for your invaluable words again!