Anyone super confused about an acceptance?

[123pickme]

Has anyone found that they have more questions than excitement about a program? I interviewed at 2 programs, one I am yet to hear from one and the other one I received an unofficial acceptance. The program with the unofficial acceptance, I feel like I left without a sense of "this is it for me" and I wonder if this is normal? When people interviewed what did you feel when you were heading back home? I wonder if I got my hopes up too much and thats why things felt less exciting. 

The more I talk to family about this, the more I get the sense that they are ready for me to be done with school which also makes me wonder if this is having an influence over my perception .... I guess I am curious about others experiences with the process. Is this a sign that the program I'm waiting for is just not for me? I know I wan the PhD I know what my career goals are, I just wonder how you are supposed to know that this is the program for you.... I guess you can say I have entered a minor existential crisis. 

[insert Psychologist]

How does the prospect of potentially getting an offer from the other program make you feel, are you excited/anxious about it?

I had a similar experience with my first acceptance, when I received the acceptance phone call from my POI I was very whatever about it and felt I had to fake excitement so as not to offend her. Turns out I was not very excited to work with her (too hands on) and the program looked good on paper but didn't really live up to what I was expecting. A lot of this had to do with me solidifying what I really wanted to research and what I looked for in a POI after I finished all my interviews. 

Don't force yourself to attend a program, its a long commitment. 

[123pickme]

9 hours ago, insert Psychologist said:

How does the prospect of potentially getting an offer from the other program make you feel, are you excited/anxious about it?

I had a similar experience with my first acceptance, when I received the acceptance phone call from my POI I was very whatever about it and felt I had to fake excitement so as not to offend her. Turns out I was not very excited to work with her (too hands on) and the program looked good on paper but didn't really live up to what I was expecting. A lot of this had to do with me solidifying what I really wanted to research and what I looked for in a POI after I finished all my interviews. 

Don't force yourself to attend a program, its a long commitment. 

The idea of attending a Clinical Psych PhD still gets me excited. But not sure about these programs...

I wrote off the other program because while I was really excited about their research, their funding was not ensured for anything beyond the first year, which is a huge factor for me. The idea of having to hunt down funding sources while working toward the PhD, while not rare, add yet another stressor to a ~6 year commitment. I think that my perception is also tainted because I have completed an MA in an ivy league where PhD students are really well taken care off. 

Your experience was really helpful, you captured exactly where I stand. I was excited going to the interview and writing about the POI I want to work with but the program itself left me feeling meh. And if a call comes for that other program I feel like I would have to fake the excitement.

"Don't force yourself to attend a program, its a long commitment." : Agree 100%, but I hope that turning down schools this cycle doesn't damage my chances for the next. I don't think these programs are my dream/best fit programs,   

[b_l91]

4 minutes ago, 123pickme said:

 Agree 100%, but I hope that turning down schools this cycle doesn't damage my chances for the next. I don't think these programs are my dream/best fit programs,   

If these schools are not your dream schools and don't seem to be a great fit, then if you extend that logically, you wouldn't be applying to those particular programs next time around, yeah? So I wouldn't worry about that hurting your chances Programs don't want students accepting just to accept, because that increases the likelihood of attrition, which is a poor outcome for everyone involved. That you got interviews and may be getting multiple offers means you are qualified, and the stage you are at now is all about mutual fit and deciding what is best for you. If you end up applying again next cycle, that is fine!! If you sit with this for awhile and assess how you're feeling and realize the negative emotions are a result of, let's say, burnout from the rigor of this application season and you do like the program enough to accept, that's okay too!!

Ultimately, this decision should be about you, and not expectations set forth by faculty or family.

[Sherrinford]

There's always going to be a little self-doubt or "is this really what I want to do?"; but if the hesitance is lingering beyond that, I would advise not going forward and accepting. You can put your life on hold for a year or two to figure out what you want to do. But spending 5-6 years of your life doing incredibly rigorous work...well, you'll want to be (mostly) excited and enthusiastic about doing it.

[123pickme]

1 hour ago, Sherrinford said:

There's always going to be a little self-doubt or "is this really what I want to do?"; but if the hesitance is lingering beyond that, I would advise not going forward and accepting. You can put your life on hold for a year or two to figure out what you want to do. But spending 5-6 years of your life doing incredibly rigorous work...well, you'll want to be (mostly) excited and enthusiastic about doing it.

Thanks this was really helpful, I know I am have the excitement of 6 years of work in a field I love and I look forward to teaching/advancing the research, so that tells me it's something about the program + the normal "do I really want to do this" working together. I wish the application process wasn't such a drag. I feel like that would make this process so much easier.