Visiting a school

[ridgey]

The only school to have admitted me thus far this year has suggested I might like to come visit for a day or two, which they would partially subsidize. It isn't a formal visit together with all the other accepted students.

I know I should go, and in fact I would like to see the city and the school before making a decision. But I'm not sure how it will work. I can handle talking to people one on one. I'm worried about being faced with a group of faculty or grad-students. Or, worse, sitting in on a class and being expected to contribute.

For those of a similar dispostion, how did your school visits go? What did you do to mask the awkwardness?

[mbs191]

I just had a similar situation, except that I guess I am an extrovert, so in the respect of talking to people, I wasn't nervous at all.

Anyway, since you are already admitted (congrats!) then you have NOTHING to worry about. Just remember you are the "prize" and they want you to come to their school....so just be totally comfortable....you have no reason to be nervous and just be yourself. If you are randomly asked to contribute then just be honest "actually, with a little more preparation, I'd be glad to comment on that, but I really want to see what you guys are talking about discussing, since you will be my potential peers, etc"

Think of it as party and while you are an invited guest, it's not as if you're the host / have to be at the head of the table and asked to give a speech.

Hope that helps a little bit....DEF go and visit and ENJOY!

[fuzzylogician]

I know exactly where you are coming from. Try shy, introverted, can't handle groups of people, and very conscious of your accent..

I guess all I can tell you is, don't let it stop you. You've already been accepted so you don't need to worry about making a bad impression, and you definitely should go and see how you feel about being at the school, how you like the city, etc. If the people make you feel very uncomfortable, then that is something you may want to consider when making a decision. Don't worry about a professor calling on you in class--why would they expect someone who is just sitting in on one class in the middle of the semester to be able to contribute to the discussion? Of course they'd welcome it if you did, but I doubt anyone expects it. As for handling awkwardness, I find it's easiest to simply acknowledge that it's there and not try to fight it. Sometimes you click with people (they can be awkward like you or very extroverted) and that is a good indication of someone you will enjoy working with. Sometimes the conversation is just awful, but that also tells you something important. I wrote off my top choice because of a disconnect with two of the three professors in my field there. They do great work and their students like them, but I couldn't imagine going through 5 years of strained silences and awkward smiles..

Just know that there are a lot of people just like you in academia. Try to look at this trip as an exercise in personal growth. Anywhere you go, making connections is important, so eventually there is no avoiding it. You'll soon be expected to stand in front of a class and lecture, so you have to start handling these situations sometime. Why not start now, when you've been accepted and it's safe to make mistakes?

[jeanne]

I definitely think you should go. Like others have said, you're already admitted. They're not going to take it away!

I just visited a school and was able to sit in with the group of students working with my advisor. I think this is pretty typical, so you might want to be prepared with some questions. That should help with any feelings of discomfort. A great question is to ask them what their individual part of the research is. That gets them talking, and also shows you're interested. You can also ask questions about student life and/or the city in general.

Good luck!

[RedPotato]

I'm going to meet with my (probable) department tomorrow. What questions do you think I should ask?

I am going for an MA, and I'm quite outgoing.

[cogneuroforfun]

They're not going to put you on the spot in front of a class or group of people. If you're already admitted, they're trying to sell the school to you. They're going to want to show you the best view of the program they can. The most of a group meeting you'll have is probably meeting with 2-4 of the ad com or senior faculty at once, but they'll just be telling you about the program and answering any questions you have (you should have a couple ready). If you sit in on a class, it would be weird if you did speak up; you're there to see how a typical course goes, not to have some earth-shattering contribution.

[iWILLgetin]

There will probably be one or several extroverted people in the department (especially students) that will try to make you comfortable and carry conversation until you get comfortable. I am very shy as well, and when I went for my interview, this is what happened. If they can bust you out of your shell fairly quickly, that's a good sign that the department might be a very good fit.

[Lantern]

Yes, definitely go, and definitely have lots of questions that you want to ask! I was very, very shy when I was younger, and have been slowly overcoming it all of my life. People will always give dating advice by saying, "Ask your date questions. People love to talk about themselves". Although this is obviously not a dating situation, it is true that anyone who isn't shy loves nothing more than to talk about themselves. I have successfully used this tactic to shift the attention away from myself many times. You could make it your "job" during the visitation weekend to get people to talk about themselves by asking questions, thereby shifting the attention away from yourself. You might even make some connections that would facilitate your transition into school when the time comes in the fall. Good luck!

[Nibor6000]

Ask what someone is currently working on. They LOVE to talk about that. If you can ask some insightful questions about the research, so much the better. If you can't, then you tell them how wonderful and interesting their work is. This goes for profs and students. If you have a particular advisor in mind, be sure to ask students working with that person about how that is going and what they like/dislike about the program. I find it interesting to ask them where else they thought about applying and why they made the decision they did.

I was never put on the spot with a question like, "Tell me the steps of the Krebs Cycle." From time to time I was asked, "Have you heard about X?" or "Are you familiar with Y?" Regardless of how I responded, there was no sense of condescension.

I am introverted, shy, and prefer my own company to that of others, especially when I don't know people. But I also have my outgoing, confident attitude that I pull out for interviews, etc. It's not a lie, it's just a more extroverted aspect of myself.

If you've been admitted, the visit is really so the school can show you why you should go there. You'll probably meet with people to see where you would best fit, but it isn't like they would pull the admission offer unless you're a true psychopath.

Relax and savor this moment. Once you commit, your mind, body, and soul is theirs!

Good luck!

[PaperChaser]

Yes, definitely go, and definitely have lots of questions that you want to ask! I was very, very shy when I was younger, and have been slowly overcoming it all of my life. People will always give dating advice by saying, "Ask your date questions. People love to talk about themselves". Although this is obviously not a dating situation, it is true that anyone who isn't shy loves nothing more than to talk about themselves. I have successfully used this tactic to shift the attention away from myself many times. You could make it your "job" during the visitation weekend to get people to talk about themselves by asking questions, thereby shifting the attention away from yourself. You might even make some connections that would facilitate your transition into school when the time comes in the fall. Good luck!

I wholeheartedly second this! I'm a recovering shy person too (with a VERY strong southern Appalachian accent that just won't go away!) and I completely agree that asking people questions about themselves helps open up dialogue really quickly. Plus, if you do nothing EXCEPT talk about yourself, you'll be a self-fulfilling prophecy and make people not want to talk to you. I went to a graduate student visitation day last weekend, and the most interesting people to talk to were the ones who actually interacted with people instead of blathering on and on about themselves. The creepy old profs who cornered me only to go ON AND ON about their totally irrelevant (to me) research areas were definitely a turn-off!

If being super-outgoing just isn't who you are, aim to make yourself easy to talk to. The rest will come pretty naturally.

[jacib]

The only school to have admitted me thus far this year has suggested I might like to come visit for a day or two, which they would partially subsidize. It isn't a formal visit together with all the other accepted students.

I know I should go, and in fact I would like to see the city and the school before making a decision. But I'm not sure how it will work. I can handle talking to people one on one. I'm worried about being faced with a group of faculty or grad-students. Or, worse, sitting in on a class and being expected to contribute.

For those of a similar dispostion, how did your school visits go? What did you do to mask the awkwardness?

During visiting days, they're trying to sell themselves to you, you don't have to sell your views to them. During mine, no one visited classes. No one tested me on knowledge (even knowledge of foreign language... they really should have, but I would have been so nervous). Most of the time was spent with whole cohort, but which naturally broke down into smaller more manageable groups. And a lot of it was like "I'm from here, here and here. I'm into studying this this and that. I want to work with her her and him at this school. (and then in a whisper so the grown-ups don't hear) I also applied to this, this, and that program that rejected me but I'm waiting for these other ones." There were definitely shier people (I'm fairly extroverted) but everyone definitely talked together. I think it's in part to make you meet the other graduate students and see "Okay this is the kind of place I could live." There were one on one meetings with faculty and that's the important time for you to talk. And man, were my people smart. One professor, who doesn't even really publish on Turkey (my proposed area of study), was like "Oh and of course you know all those wonderful statistics TESEV publishes... oh, and you know about the research office in the Diniyet.... no? Okay well look at this this and this. Oh and you know Fox's book too, right? No?" There was no judgment on my ignorance... but it made it clear how much work I would be doing. The meeting with another professor was very different and she was like "Oh, I'm teaching an undergraduate course that's right up your alley next year, here look at the syllabus, tell me what you think... can you TA next year? No not yet?" It was all very very sweet. I explained my proposed research a bit, but most of my meetings with professors was them telling me things, related to their research, the school, interdisciplinary oppotunities and things like "Oh some people in the department are like this... but you won't have trouble with that." Or (with a professor in another department) "I've been lobbying for this guy to come to the school for years but your department won't hire him because he's not quant enough" or "I shouldn't be telling you this, but she's going to be chair of the (x) department once he steps aside." Anyway, after the professor meetings we all met in the graduate student lounge and everyone just looked exhausted in this "All I know is that I don't know nothing" kind of way. I think everyone felt "They just kept referencing all these things I didn't know..." but no one seemed to come away thinking "I can't work with this faculty member." One kid was like particularly distraught and holding these packets and saying, "He gave me homework... I haven't even said yes yet and I have homework." Those parts might be slightly stressful but they're what you expect. Other than these one-on-one sessions with faculty, I was never expected to talk (well I guess I was, but in normal situations, like during dinner I was expected to make normal conversation...there were clearly some louder people and clearly some quieter people, but that's like what you'd get in any group of people).

The rest of it was really useful. The chair and the DGS got up and took our questions/explained the program. We went out to dinner. We met with current grad students, asked about funding, problems, housing, health insurance, etc. All the practical things. That alone made it worth coming. The graduate students were very nice, and since usually you stay with one, you also have a more one-on-one chance to pick their brains. They set me up with a guy who went to my undergraduate university and so he told me all the differences between the two. Another girl who I had been emailing with basically just came up and kicked my chair and goes "What's up" in Turkish. That's the closest I came to being put on the spot. There were plenty of drinks both nights so that made the socializing slightly less awkward (we also learned some grad student gossip).

To mask the awkwardness, just be prepared to give a few sentences about your history, what you studied undergrad, where you've lived, what you want to research, and then know how to ask them about their research, and where they're from, etc. Interviews might be stressful--this wasn't like an interview at all. I too was reluctant to go (for completely different reasons), and it was my only choice, but I had a really good time and it made me feel really good about the program. Just remember, for the last 4 months you've been worrying about selling yourself to them... now they have to sell themselves to you. You are now in the position of power.

[Nibor6000]

One more thing - have an elevator speech about yourself. Most interviews will start off with the inevitable "Tell me a little bit about yourself." You should have 5-10 sentences that describe who you are and why you are there. A few sentences of background and then transition to why you are applying to graduate school/that program. Practice this speech so that you appear to be coherent and intelligent even when scared out of your mind. I researched potential questions and typed out answers. I didn't memorize the answers, but I did get very familiar with the points I wanted to make during my response. You don't want to come across as having memorized responses, but practice makes perfect.